A lady and a gentleman do not see each other as different but rather as similar with unique and different qualities. What do I mean? I mean that instead of seeing each other noticing what is different like skin color, dress, education level, sense of humor, behavior, religion, sexual orientation and the list goes on and on, we see each other as people...moms and dads, sons and daughters all striving and hoping to find love, peace, acceptance, respect, appreciation, sincerity, and more.
Yes of course we may look different, but why notice? Why not look at each other through different lenses? The lenses that focus on the things that we have in common. I know we might think that we are not prejudice or we do not make differences but often we do and we do not even recognize it. For instance, have we ever said, “There was this cute little black boy on the playground this morning...”? Why wouldn’t we just say, “There was this cute little boy on the playground this morning...” Why would we ever point out his skin color? Why do we need to do that? What difference does it make? Does it make our story better? Does it play into some stereotype we are trying to make a connection to? Do you see how this is pointing out differences that aren’t important?
I’m sure all of us want to be proud of our heritage, our cultural, our families ( at least I hope so), but a lady and a gentleman see each other as valued human beings that share common hopes and dreams. A lady and a gentleman strive to show value in each other and know that words really do matter. It’s a wonderful thing when people recognize valuable things about other cultures and races and draw attention to those beautiful things. Let’s be careful however, not to point to generalizations regarding races and cultures. None of us enjoy to be placed in a big group and then assumptions made about us depending on the group we have been associated with. We are unique. We have our own thoughts, ideas and goals. Let’s give everyone the same benefit we desire...to be recognized for our accomplishments, our character, our integrity, our hard work.
Have a great month,
Certified Etiquette Educator and Life Skills Coach