tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75288816710930536912024-03-14T03:16:10.337-04:00The Etiquette Factory BlogThe Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-64204408403079310722021-02-13T13:34:00.002-05:002021-02-13T13:34:42.957-05:00What Should I Know about Abortion?<p>Well, you should know the truth.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5PtaN9gci9Q/YCga7p9RldI/AAAAAAAABtg/ugcNoND3424BntzeUSa48MnTE4J52_A3QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1080/What%2Bdo%2BI%2BNeed%2Bto%2BKnow%2BAbout%2BAbortion%253F-2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5PtaN9gci9Q/YCga7p9RldI/AAAAAAAABtg/ugcNoND3424BntzeUSa48MnTE4J52_A3QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/What%2Bdo%2BI%2BNeed%2Bto%2BKnow%2BAbout%2BAbortion%253F-2.png" /></a></div><p></p><p>Topics like abortion, racism, the homeless, addiction, sexual exploitation are topics that we just don't want to think about, talk about and we wish everyone would stop throwing them in our faces! Why? Because we don't know what to do about them? I mean sure, we hate these issues. Sure, we wish they didn't exist. But, what can I or you really do about it? We're just one person.</p><p>First, you can't be an expert on every human tragedy and every human social cause. But, you can pick one or two causes that you are passionate about and start with trying to educate yourself about those causes. Then, once you have received some knowledge, decide if you still want to become an advocate for that cause. This isn't a race where we're trying to reach some finish line. We're just trying to participate in the fight.</p><p>Abortion is a cause that <b>God</b> has led me to be more involved with. I've always believed that it was wrong, meaning against God's law to abort a baby, but it wasn't until I gained more knowledge about the abortion industry, that I realized how abortion is the legs for so many other wrongs and the culprit for so much sickness and pain.</p><p>Don't let the first part of this article scare you away from reading the last part because the last part is the good news and the good part.</p><p>I have learned in addition to the <b>millions of lives lost every year </b>from voluntary abortions, that abortion feeds many other <b>wrong ideologies </b>such as racism (eugenics, targeting black communities), such as eliminating what the world would call "less desirables" (such as those with Down syndrome...heartbreaking reality), such as sexism (aborting females over males), and other sickening trends. In addition, abortion is used to perpetuate illegal activity such as the exploitation of children and women (using abortion to eliminate pregnancies as a result of sexual exploitation so they can get back to work). Everything connected to this industry is ugly, tragic and wrong for not only the unborn, but for the women who are also victims to this empire.</p><p><b>First</b>, let's just understand a few lies and marketing strategies that the "Pro-Choice Industry" work extremely hard to get you to "buy into."</p><p><b>"It's just tissue"</b>--You see, if you can <b>dehumanize</b> a human, then you can justify any treatment of that human. It's true. When people ask the question, "How could anyone have ever justified owning a person...having a slave?" Well actually, it's not that hard, if you are taught that that human, who has a different color of skin than yours, is not equal to you and is in fact inferior, in need of tight control, unable to govern themselves, dangerous, etc. In fact, you might could even convince yourself that you are actually doing them a favor by <b>owning them. </b> You are protecting them from themselves and their inability to care for themselves.</p><p>When people ask the question, "How could thousands of Nazi's buy into the lie that Jews were an inferior species (not even able to call human), and that their even existence would cripple and ruin the sanctity of life for the Anglo Saxon Superior Class and their children, then sure, one is able to do <b>unspeakable things </b>in the name of protecting their children's future.</p><p>When people buy into the same lie, that a baby inside the womb of a mother, is not really a human at all, with protected human rights, that of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but is rather a blob of cells, then sure, those people can do anything to that baby. That's why you will <b>NEVER</b> hear a Pro-Choice doctor or entity ever utter the word, <b>"BABY,"</b> unless they slip up.</p><p><b>A Second lie </b>that is the Pro-Choice industry's main marketing strategy is the HEADLINE, "A Woman's Right to Choose what she does with <b>HER body and HER healthcare</b>." Oh Satan is so good! Truly, he is. I mean heck, that sounds like something I would be for. I mean, I'm a woman and a very determined, independent woman at that. Ask my husband or father.</p><p>I absolutely do not want someone telling me what I can and can't do with my body. If I want to take Chemo if I find out I have cancer, then no one is going to tell me I can't (well maybe the insurance company will try). If I don't want to take a vaccine, then I will not take it. If I want to eat carbs all day, leave me alone, it's my body dammit! Amen and Amen!</p><p>But no, if you want to go out and drive your car 60 miles an hour in my neighborhood, where my child is playing, you can't do that. Because you do not have the right to endanger my child or anyone's child. It may be your own neighborhood but you still can't do it. You might say, "Well it's my children in the neighborhood and if I want to drive fast and endanger their life by my actions, that's my business." Actually no, it's not. You see, all people have rights. That's why we have laws because of stupid people and careless people (I've been stupid before too), who forget others at times when pursuing their own desires. </p><p>We protect the rights of all people. The right to live <b>free of violence,</b> theft, defamation, exploitation, etc. We do that through laws. Not all of our laws have been perfect. In fact, we've had <b>some very bad laws</b>...ie. Jim Crowe Laws. Did you know that it was a felony for a white person to marry a black person? Our constitution was not and is not perfect. Thus we have amendments. Do you remember that women were not given the right to vote until August 1920?</p><p>So yes, just because we have a law, <b>does not mean it's a good law. </b> </p><p>That little baby growing inside of a woman, is a separate human being from the mother. He/she has their own DNA. Their own personality, human traits and characteristics. Can any parent deny each of their children's uniqueness that they came to this earth with? </p><p>It is a <b>LIE </b>to believe that a woman, <b>has the right to decide what happens to the life of the baby she carries inside her womb.</b> Once a woman becomes pregnant, <b>there are two humans,</b> not one. Yes, of course a woman has the right to determine what happens with her body, but that right does not include the right to end the life of another human being. It just doesn't. </p><p>Before we go on to a third lie, please just consider who is selling you on the lie of getting you to believe you do have that right, to end the life of the human inside you...the very entity that makes money when you buy into that lie. <b>THEY MAKE MONEY AND A LOT OF IT, WHEN YOU BELIEVE THIS LIE.</b></p><p><b>A third lie: If the child is not wanted, they are more likely to be abused, neglected, etc. </b>It's just a lie people. It's not true. There are no studies that show this. In fact, there are studies that show women who have had a least one abortion, are more likely to abuse their children. (1)</p><p>There is no evidence that when women go ahead and birth an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy that they are more likely to abuse their children. Just because you didn't want to get pregnant or weren't planning on having a baby, does not make you a child abuser. That is absurd. </p><p><b>A fourth lie: Keeping abortion legal prevents "Back-Alley" abortions which are dangerous for women. </b>In the year leading up to Roe v. Wade, the Centers for Disease Control, reported 39 maternal deaths occurred due to illegal abortions in 1972. (2) Any loss of life is tragic but it does not compare on any level to the thousands (over 900,00 in United States currently per year) of innocent babies, innocent lives. This is just the truth. Please investigate for yourselves. Find out the facts.</p><p><b>Let's now talk about the women. </b>In 2020, there were headlines all over the news and publications including CNN, Forbes Magazine, Newsweek, etc. reporting on a study that found 95% of women surveyed, did not regret their abortion. Well so there you have it! That should say everything right? But then, when you dive just an inch deeper into the study, you find that these were women who had had their abortion in the previous five years. Do I need to go into some analysis why this matters or are you smart enough to think about it? I'm going to assume you are smart enough.</p><p>Of course they never will, but here's what I can tell you I've learned as I have met women who have had past abortions. The women that have been <b>brave enough to speak to me</b> about their abortion are on average between the ages of 45 and 65. Each and every lady that has spoken to me about their abortion, has kept it a <b>secret for most of their life. </b>They don't talk about it because they can't face it and the feelings that come with speaking of it. Often, the regret has grown over time, <b>until it is all consuming.</b> I met one woman who was in her 60's and had never told her husband, children or anyone in her family. She had been carrying the painful secret her whole life and felt so burdened by it that it had <b>robbed her of a life of peace.</b></p><p>You see, I'm not interested in shaming anyone for having an abortion. In fact, I feel like most women who have had an abortion, like their unborn children, are victims to the "pro-choice" industry. Truly, they are. They are lied to and marketed to by a very savvy and educated and money hungry industry that preys upon <b>their fears, their traumas and their crises to make a profit. </b>Women are the victims here.</p><p>Why can most women not shake the feelings of regret regarding their abortion as they continue to age and mature and distance grows between their moment of panic and distress and today? </p><p>Because the feelings of love that mothers (and also fathers) have for their unborn children does not come from us, <b>it comes from our Father in Heaven. </b> Have you ever thought that it doesn't make logical sense how we can love this person inside us that we've never even met? No, that doesn't make sense. </p><p>Why do mothers and fathers, grieve the loss of a miscarriage for the rest of their lives? Because the parent /child bond <b>comes from God.</b> It is a gift, given to us from Heavenly Father to help us to care for his children. Why can't you stop thinking about how old your child would be today and why can't you stop wondering what they would look like and what they would be doing? Because he/she is your child. <b> You are their mother. </b> You are their father and their life ending or being ended does not erase that fact.</p><p>Why will you never hear these conversations from the Pro-Choice Industry? <b>You know why! </b></p><p>When I hear people and organizations speak of how they are going to <b>help women equality and women's rights </b>by providing more affordable and more available abortions I want to SCREAM!!!! </p><p>Stop! Don't! Wait! It's a lie!! </p><p>Playing a role in helping a woman end her child's life <b>will not do what you want it to do.</b> It will only imprison most women to a life a shame, guilt, sadness, self loathing, and even anger which cripples a woman's ability to be truly <b>free and happy.</b></p><p><b>Empowering women</b> means helping women to live lives of freedom!! </p><p>When we choose to disobey God's law, and devalue any human being, inside or outside of the womb, it will only hurt us in the long run. None of us can escape the penalty of sin. I know the Pro-Choice Movement does not want us to speak of sin, and in fact, they use that Pro-Life argument to spew words like, "Judgement," "Condemnation," "Hate," and "Fanatics." </p><p>But this isn't about judgement. God is the only judge. The rest of us on this earth are supposed to love one another. <b> Because I love you, I want you to know the truth.</b></p><p>Please, don't take one word in any sentence I've written as truth, until you find out for yourself. I'm not perfect and I can see for myself t<b>hat I don't write perfectly. </b> I ask that you pray with real intent and ask Heavenly Father to help you to understand what is true and what is not true. Ask him to help you to discern his will regarding this important cause. </p><p>That is what I have done. I have had questions regarding this issue. I have needed clarity for certain circumstances. <b>I have received answers as I have sought out truth. </b></p><p>If you have had an abortion, may I leave you with the <b>most amazing and wonderful news.</b> </p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Your Father in Heaven loves you so much. The abortion you had has not affected his love for you in any way, nor could it. </span></p><p><b>He wants you to be happy and to have peace in your life. </b>There is a path to peace always. The path however does not include secrets. Secrets destroy from the inside out. May I suggest that you reach out to a trusted friend or family member. May I also suggest that you reach out to your clergy. Then, may I suggest that you reach out to a support group. I will list a couple below.</p><p>In my own life, I have found that for me to heal from past choices I've made, it has helped me to take what I've learned from my own pain and experiences and use <b>that wisdom to help others. </b> It's very healing when we do that, regardless of the pain.</p><p><b>I believe in you. </b>I believe in the sanctity of life. I believe that the only answer to solve all of the heartaches, injustices (especially towards women), inequalities, abuse and exploitation of women, is to cling to the truths that come from God. Therein lies all the answers.</p><p>If you have questions, comments, or need to reach out privately, please do so. My email is:</p><p>Monica@TheEtiquetteFactory.com</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Resources for Support for those who have had an abortion:</b></p><p>https://www.godeeperstill.org</p><p>https://alightpc.org/post-abortion-support/</p><p>https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/referrals-for-post-abortion-ministries-and-training/</p><p><br /></p><p>1. Priscilla K. Coleman, Charles D. Maxey, Vincent M. Rue, and Catherine T. Coyle, "Associations between voluntary and involuntary forms of perinatal loss and child maltreatment among low-income mothers." Acta Paediatrica 94, 2005</p><p>2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "Abortion Surveillance--unites States, 2004." Surveillance Summaries Nov. 23, 2007. MMWR 2007;56 (No.SS09). Table 19. www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss5609a1.htm</p><p>#abortion #RightoLife #abortionquestions #sanctityoflife #MonicaIrvine #TheEtiquetteFactory</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-55379266963451646532020-12-22T11:05:00.001-05:002020-12-22T11:10:56.833-05:00How Do I Teach My Child Integrity<p> <span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Teaching integrity does not have to be difficult but it does have to be consistent. Children develop the skills of integrity the most, when day in and day out they witness their parents living lives of integrity. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XfCDyi9CKq8/X-Iadz6AXSI/AAAAAAAABsI/iRkSFbVPuJw6xVa95PhblNc8YSw5p9pXgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/pexels-pixabay-277477.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="425" data-original-width="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XfCDyi9CKq8/X-Iadz6AXSI/AAAAAAAABsI/iRkSFbVPuJw6xVa95PhblNc8YSw5p9pXgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/pexels-pixabay-277477.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span id="docs-internal-guid-7b22c831-7fff-7b4b-61fe-c34aa6a30106"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This means that every day, we have the opportunity to show our children in small and simple ways how one chooses integrity, even when making the choice is difficult.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was in Hobby Lobby the other day (love that place), and I all of a sudden heard a crash. I looked back and saw a woman with two young girls (maybe 8 and 10) picking up a reindeer that they apparently had knocked off the shelf. I went on about my shopping.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then, I turned back to go look at something and I saw this woman and the two girls again. This time, they were still dealing with the reindeer. It looked like they were trying to put a broken antler back on the head of this reindeer but to me, it looked broken. I paid a little more attention because I was kind of intrigued about what they would do. Sure enough, they managed to prop this antler up on the head of this reindeer and then they quietly walked away.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ugh!! How sad. Now, I don't know their situation and I don't know why they chose to handle it the way they did. It did make me a little sad however, because from the outside observer, it looked like a missed opportunity to teach children what integrity looks like.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know when I look back on my days of mothering children at home, I missed some opportunities too. Sometimes I think, "Why did I do that!!" "That was so dumb of me."</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The important thing for today, is to try to pay attention and realize that each day, we have numerous opportunities to teach our children integrity, compassion, empathy, non-judgement and many more such character traits. I hope we pay closer attention and may we always know that each decision we make, has the potential to impact the kind of humans our children become.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our children need to hear and see us be 100% accurate in our words, our stories, our actions, etc. They need to watch us go out of our way to be honest, regardless whether or not that honesty brings about negative consequences. However, even when being honest, we can strive to make sure that kindness precedes every honest remark. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today, show your children what integrity looks like. Live it. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Monica Irvine</span></p><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-28688153179527014892020-10-08T13:09:00.001-04:002020-10-08T13:11:22.290-04:00How do We Teach our Children To Give Others the Benefit of the Doubt?<p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> <span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">As with any matter of the heart, it’s difficult for children to learn and practice a principle that they do not see modeled in the home. So, our first order of business is to assess what kind of example we are to our children in helping them to see the good in others, doubt the bad, assume the best, and discard the unpleasant. </span></span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P9BOMqdTpTM/X39Hi3kzy1I/AAAAAAAABqY/o1b9s7EFkes5JWearLJ90MLDv6YmqoEGQCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/ashton-bingham-SAHBl2UpXco-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="427" data-original-width="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P9BOMqdTpTM/X39Hi3kzy1I/AAAAAAAABqY/o1b9s7EFkes5JWearLJ90MLDv6YmqoEGQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/ashton-bingham-SAHBl2UpXco-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-3f0a5257-7fff-842b-4061-ffef8f8ad0fe"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Seeing the good in others…</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">begins by discussing and committing to that very purpose. One thing I think we can all agree on is that we tend to find what we’re looking for, whether that is something good or something bad. If we have a relationship with someone that tends to “get under our skin” due to their constant talking, then I assure you, every time we are with this person, that’s all we will observe. However, if we tell ourselves that today, when we are with this same person, we are going to figure out one thing that this person has, that we could use a little more of in our own life, then I promise you, you will find something. It’s a matter of purpose.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We can teach our children to focus on what people have to offer, as they hear us continually pointing out the good in others. There is no better training ground for them than listening to their parents exhibit this compassionate and empathetic skill. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For example, perhaps our daughter might ask: </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Mom. Why is Grandma always complaining about everything?”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mom—“You know honey…I think because of her age, Grandma just doesn’t feel good most of the time and I think that makes it difficult to be really positive. But, did you know that Grandma let both her mother and her mother-n-law live with her for the last few years of their lives, so that she could take care of them. She is such an amazing lady.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Perhaps, our son might say:</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Dad. I don’t like to go outside when I see Mr. Smith outside next door, because he always has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and I can smell the smoke.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dad—“Well, I’m sure Mr. Smith is not aware that his smoke is bothering you but I can tell you this, that is the hardest working man I know and he’s also a war hero. We owe him our deepest gratitude for the sacrifice he made on our behalf.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Parents, can you see the opportunity here? Can you hear the power that is within our lips to profoundly impact how our children learn to see others? It’s so exciting!</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What about the bad?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sure, we want our children to be cautious and to understand risk and dangers, however for the purpose of this discussion, let’s assume those are not the situations we are speaking about. For this discussion, we are speaking about the negative things about others such as past mistakes, personal weaknesses, character flaws and less than honorable moments. It’s easy to talk about these things when it’s someone else we’re speaking about, but what if someone wants to talk about our past mistakes, personal weaknesses, character flaws and less than honorable moments? Are you as interested in that conversation?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">No, I didn’t think so.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You see, for us to help our children learn to refrain from focusing on such things, we must not fall into the trap of doing so ourselves. I appreciate a few concepts I’ve learned over the years: #1, just because someone has a bad moment, doesn’t mean they’re a bad person and #2, since God loves us even though he knows our flaws perfectly, shouldn’t I do my best to love others despite what I think I know?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here’s what I do know. We are not a sum of our mistakes. We do not have to be defined by our mistakes. You and I don’t want this so shouldn’t we do our best not to label and define others by their mistakes? Here’s an example of two conversations that teach children two different ways to view others.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">First One</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Child—“Mom, I really like my math teacher, Mr. Green. He’s super fun and really laid back.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mom—“Well, I just found out that last semester, there was a disciplinary hearing for him because of how he spoke to a student, so let’s hope that taught him a lesson.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Second One</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Child—“Mom, I really like my math teacher, Mr. Green. He’s super fun and really laid back, but I heard from a friend today that he got in trouble last semester for how he handled a student.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mom—“You know honey, it’s not polite for people to spread gossip (whether true or not), announcing mistakes that someone has made in the past. That did not involve us and we don’t know any of the facts so it’s best to just tell your friends that you’re not interested in stories that shine a poor light on others.”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now I realize, you may be thinking right now, “But Monica…sometimes people need to know information that could protect them or others.” Once again, of course. That is a different conversation and one we must have with our children, but that’s not what we’re talking about here and the truth is, that’s not the more common situation.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s never ok to assume the role of informing others of other people’s unflattering moments. Truthfully, it’s a backwards way of trying to build ourselves up but in reality, it’s an ugly behavior that shines very poorly on ourselves.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the “end of the day,” I know you want what I want for my own children. I want them to be kind, compassionate, empathetic. I want them to refrain from judging others and from assuming the worst in people. I want them to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and look for the good. Why? Because this helps them to live happier lives. It helps them to have healthier happier relationships.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">May you and I be more careful with our own conversation. May we continue to look for opportunities to teach our children to notice the good in others. In doing so, we will raise better human beings.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Monica Irvine</span></p><br /><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><div><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-47092928985053171812020-03-11T10:55:00.000-04:002020-03-12T20:39:02.911-04:00How to Handle Unwanted Physical Affection<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We teach our children to be kind, to be polite, to not hurt others feelings. Then, all of a sudden, our children become adolescents and often, someone starts attempting to give them physical attention. In the back of our child's mind they might be thinking, "I have to be kind. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings." </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This places them at risk to accept the physical affection because they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or make the other person feel awkward. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ke-UdYs3tg4/XmBOoSsfckI/AAAAAAAABhA/6oYqw9elrgUCEiVIF-9aY4keDvW5An3lgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Canva%2B-%2BYoung%2BCouple%2Bin%2BCity%2Bat%2BNight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1102" data-original-width="1600" height="220" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ke-UdYs3tg4/XmBOoSsfckI/AAAAAAAABhA/6oYqw9elrgUCEiVIF-9aY4keDvW5An3lgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Canva%2B-%2BYoung%2BCouple%2Bin%2BCity%2Bat%2BNight.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-856db163-7fff-d89e-5bd2-744745426d17" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Parents, this is dangerous. We can't expect our children to know how to react in these situations if we don't have serious discussions with them and make sure they know what is appropriate. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, we teach our children to be kind but we should also be teaching young boys and girls that your body is your private personal space and no one should cross over into it without your permission.</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Etiquette rule: A</span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> lady and a gentleman do not show physical affection to someone of the opposite sex in a casual relationship without the other person's permission.</span></span></b></blockquote>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I once was teaching a group of young teens and we talked about this etiquette skill in the class. Afterward I had a young lady come up and ask my advice on a situation. She told me, “Every Wednesday night I go to my church's youth group and at the end of the service the minister stands at the back door where we all leave and he gives us all a hug goodbye. I know that he's just trying to show how much he cares about us and he doesn't mean anything inappropriate by doing so. But, I don't like it and it makes me uncomfortable.” </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She truly believed he had the best intentions but she said, " I don't know how not to when everyone else is doing it."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is such a common question I get from teenage girls, women, and even young men and husbands.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How did I answer that young girl? I told her that her minister shouldn't be doing that. It's not appropriate. I told her that next time her minister tried to hug her, all she had to do is take one step back and extend her hand for a handshake. Or, if she would rather, she could give him a "high five." There would be a chance that there would be an awkward moment and the minister might say something like, "What? You don't like hugs?" </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is always that chance but we have to teach our children to have confidence and be brave.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What helps children have confidence is understanding that<b> it's not impolite for them to refrain from hugs.</b> That it's their decision what they want to do with their body and the other person should respect that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Parents, we have got to equip our sons and daughters with the confidence and the skills to be able to know how to handle unwanted physical affection. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For more resources and a more in depth discussion on this and more check out our Dating Guide for Ladies and Gentleman <b><a href="https://www.theetiquettefactory.com/products.php?catId=1&itmId=87&bundle=1&showprice=0" target="_blank">HERE</a>.</b></span></span></div>
The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-44992387371076184982020-02-26T10:27:00.000-05:002020-03-04T20:10:01.351-05:00Finding Nemo Introduction Game<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2ObJkXhL5U8/XlXH2k0T8AI/AAAAAAAABgI/HjMP_ByrJG8JjEum51eD4XxvLCy8c-regCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/4%2Bpoints%2Bof%2Ba%2Bproper%2Bhandshake%2B%25281%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="777" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2ObJkXhL5U8/XlXH2k0T8AI/AAAAAAAABgI/HjMP_ByrJG8JjEum51eD4XxvLCy8c-regCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/4%2Bpoints%2Bof%2Ba%2Bproper%2Bhandshake%2B%25281%2529.png" width="152" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Start by teaching the 4 points to a proper introduction. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">These are taught in more detail through our <a href="https://www.theetiquettefactory.com/products.php?catId=1&itmId=28&bundle=1&showprice=0" target="_blank"><b>Life Skills For You</b></a> course as well as in our<b> <a href="https://www.theetiquettefactory.com/etiquette-camps-search.php" target="_blank">etiquette camps.</a> </b><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>How to play:</b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One person will be secretly chosen to be “Nemo” at the beginning of each round. Explain that Nemo must introduce themselves as their actual name to 3-4 people before revealing that they are Nemo. Then everyone goes around practicing introducing themselves to each other until Nemo reveals themselves. At that point whoever was shaking hands with Nemo puts their hands on Nemos' back conga line style. Everyone else in the room must then do the same forming a line behind Nemo. Last person in the line is out so you must be quick!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Do this for a couple rounds and then you can add on to the game for older kids.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once everyone is comfortable with the game, pick someone to be “Bruce” at the same time you pick a new “Nemo.” Remember to keep it a secret. Bruce doesn't reveal that he is Bruce until the very end, after everyone is in the line. Anyone who is behind Bruce is out.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The key is allowing children to practice and become more comfortable introducing themselves to others in a positive environment. This will bring more confidence in real life as they make new friends they will be prepared and know what to do. </span></span></div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-44400963598809394522020-02-12T12:04:00.000-05:002020-02-12T20:55:40.725-05:00Advice That Saved my Marriage<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">Years ago, Charles and I had not been married that long, and we were struggling. I won't go into the details of that struggle, but we were struggling. When I look back at that period of time, I'm so embarrassed because I realize now that I was so selfish. I was in a place mentally and emotionally where I didn’t even want to be married anymore. I didn't like some things that Charles did and I didn't like some things that were going on in our marriage. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">I started saying to myself, “Monica, you don’t deserve this, he’s not doing this or it would be so much better if he were doing that.” Of course these thoughts were coming from the adversary, but all I cared about was my happiness and what was and wasn’t being done for me and to me. </span><br />
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I then got some really good advice from my grandmother. She told me to, </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">“for a period of time, stop trying to fix Charles, stop focusing on whatever he's doing that you dislike.” She said, “I want you to just ignore that for a little while, and forget about it. For right now I want you to focus on what you need to fix. Identify some areas that you could improve on and for the next month or two, I want that to be your focus.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I thought she was a lunatic for suggesting that to me and I thought there was no way this plan would work. However, my grandmother had been right about quite a few things in the past, so I decided to at least try. I picked up the scriptures and started reading them because I really didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know how else to start identifying my faults. I mean, I knew there were some things wrong with me, I just didn’t know how to organize those thoughts and begin this process of fixing myself. So I thought I would start by turning to the word of God. </span></span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">God’s not going to lay everything out for you and tell you all the answers right as you open the scriptures.What happens is when you expose yourself to the word of God, you expose yourself to the spirit. The spirit softens your heart and by doing so, increases our ability to listen to God.</span></span></blockquote>
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I started taking the time every day to spend some time in the word of God, my heart started softening. Well, the bad news about this experience is that I started seeing my own weaknesses, and my own failures in my marriage started becoming more evident to me. At some point this list got to be so big that I started feeling overwhelmed. All of a sudden I was realizing that God's world is really black and white and I had been living in mostly grey. Things are either of God or they aren’t. I realized that I had somehow been justifying a lot of behaviors in my mind because I was hard-hearted and trying to get away with doing things not of the Lord. With this new mindset of things either taking me closer to God or further away, I became overwhelmed with how far I had slipped away from God. </span></span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Nevertheless, the Lord helped me to slowly start working on these things. What happened was exactly what my grandmother said would happen. I got so caught up in my own mess and trying to worry about all the things that I needed to improve that I completely forgot about the things that I had wanted to fix in Charles. What also happens when you spend time with the word of God daily is you start recognizing his hand in your life. You start recognizing the good in others more easily because you’re looking through more Godlike eyes. You start seeing people as God sees them. </span></span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just like when we become parents we love our children and want others to love them as well. We know our kids can be rotten at times, but we love them because we also know how wonderful they are and we can see their potential. That’s how God looks at you and me and our spouse and I can only imagine He wants us to look at our spouse the same way. He wants us to love them, and help them, and be forgiving and patient.</span></span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><u>Now I am in no way talking about in any way accepting verbal abuse, physical abuse, or any type of abuse. I will never suggest that anybody should endure those things.</u> I'm simply talking about trying to learn to see and love our spouse the way the Lord does. That's what happened for me and by following my grandmother's advice and turning to the Lord I was able to soften my heart and learn to have a greater love for my husband.</span></span></div>
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This story and many more can be found in my book, "</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.theetiquettefactory.com/product-book-ladies-gentlemen.php?itmId=92&&bundle=1&showprice=0" target="_blank">Raising A Generation of Ladies & Gentlemen</a>"--</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> a 52 week (one year) study guide for you and your spouse to read together to get on the same page and gain all the skills needed to be the best role models for your children.</span></span><br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TyTKAtQA5-0/XkRCQv7KsJI/AAAAAAAABfQ/9vLHbRtBp9M0hg2OLGGBkaFoiT3ZJvyXQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/advice...png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="560" data-original-width="1080" height="165" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TyTKAtQA5-0/XkRCQv7KsJI/AAAAAAAABfQ/9vLHbRtBp9M0hg2OLGGBkaFoiT3ZJvyXQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/advice...png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you for reading this blog and for being open to new thoughts and ideas. We all can learn from one another's experiences. It's the beauty of sharing ourselves with others.</span></span></div>
<br />The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-68948846146491000262020-02-06T19:47:00.000-05:002020-02-12T13:32:12.752-05:004 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Teen<h4 style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's so many different things I could talk about when it comes to raising teens. When it comes to parenting, I like to focus on our relationships. I know that our happiness in this life is completely wrapped up in our relationship with God and our relationship with our family. My goal is to help you build and strengthen your relationships with your teenagers. They are growing up and forming their own thoughts and opinions. This causes some tension between children and parents as this is a big transitioning phase. These are some tips to make sure your relationship stays strong throughout these moments.</span></span></h4>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-83116568-7fff-971e-8774-ba2aab52cc4f" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. You are Your Child's Biggest Cheerleader</span></span></h4>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xXsAZwxh3F8/XjpCWF6trlI/AAAAAAAABd8/RSYcqJMBh6AxSaJLSxQ0mcfXiFZXiejQQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Canva%2B-%2BCheering%2BSquad%2Bon%2BFootball%2BField.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="133" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xXsAZwxh3F8/XjpCWF6trlI/AAAAAAAABd8/RSYcqJMBh6AxSaJLSxQ0mcfXiFZXiejQQCLcBGAsYHQ/s200/Canva%2B-%2BCheering%2BSquad%2Bon%2BFootball%2BField.jpg" width="200" /></a><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now let's think about a Football game. What is the cheerleaders purpose? To bring motivation and strength and cheer on the players. This should be your role as your children go through the game of life. They need you because in the game of life, it gets very difficult and there's lots of challenges and surprises and things that set you back. That's where you come in cheering “You got this!” letting your children know that you are here for them, through thick and thin, through all the setbacks and losses. You are here to support them.</span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A cheerleader is someone that brings joy. Is that how your children envision you, as their cheerleader? Are you the one person always pulling for them no matter what? Are you there building them back up and always ready to comfort? Are you doing this with joy and positivity? </span></span></h4>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. Criticizing vs Counseling </span></span></h4>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being critical damages relationships while counseling strengthens trust. We all know what it feels like when someone is critical of us. Being critical means to condemn, to insult, to point out someone's flaws for no other purpose, but to point out someone else's flaws. Sometimes, as parents, we mix up being critical with parenting. </span></span></h4>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Parenting is to counsel and correct our children, but we should never correct without showing a better way. There should always be a purpose behind our correction. </span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I think of counseling, I think of someone who gently makes suggestions to me and helps me talk through the decisions I make. That's our role in our child's life, to be good listeners and then ask really good questions to help them sift through their different thoughts. That is so important because, especially with teens, it’s important for them to become independent thinkers. That’s divine design. God created us all to be independent thinkers and to have free agency. </span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. Help Teens Plan Fun Activities</span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Teenagers enjoy spending time with their friends and I don’t blame them. That's exactly what I wanted to do when I was their age. The problem lies in periods of time where there are too many unplanned activities. Meaning, we want our kids to be actively engaged in any activity. </span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For example this was a conversation my son and I would have often.</span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-981gu096RHA/XjpBszFI4qI/AAAAAAAABd0/qkzDPE1i6rYxJdhNltRzIDoSmEA-PkyAACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Annotation%2B2020-02-04%2B211534.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="433" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-981gu096RHA/XjpBszFI4qI/AAAAAAAABd0/qkzDPE1i6rYxJdhNltRzIDoSmEA-PkyAACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Annotation%2B2020-02-04%2B211534.png" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This happened a lot. I would make little suggestions and then my son would go and have fun with the idea.</span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why is this important? Planning fun, safe activities help our kids learn to be responsible and how to follow through with things. For instance, going along with the bonfire example, my son now feels in charge of and responsible for the activity. Then, next thing you know he’s got to collect firewood and make sure the outside chairs are clean and possibly setting up a screen for a movie. </span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It would always end up being a much better experience when everything was planned out. The more planned an activity, the safer it tended to be. My son and his friends never had much money so they had to get a bit creative with what they planned. A lot of their ideas I have incorporated into my book</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.theetiquettefactory.com/products.php?catId=1&itmId=66" target="_blank">Dating Guide for Ladies & Gentlemen.</a> </span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4. Get To Know Their Friends</span></span></h4>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now parents, we can't do this unless we spend time with them. That's where we have to make a commitment to create a home where our children and their friends feel welcome. That may look like having a shelf in the kitchen designated only for cheap snacks so when friends come over, there's planned snacks. (Trust me your pocketbook will thank you.) </span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Beyond that, we need to talk to them, really talk to them. When is the last time you sat with your child's friend and asked them what's making them happy in life? What is stressing them out? What are their goals? Really knowing his friends well, made it easier to sit down and talk with my son about his life and the people in it. We would talk about what his friends were up to, what they were going through and ponder how we could help them. </span></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sit down and discuss with your spouse how you can make your home feel welcoming and make sure your kids friends don't feel like a burden when they visit but rather cherished and loved. It will make all the difference and greatly affect how much time your children spend in your home.</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">For more suggestions listen to my podcast </span><a href="https://www.parentwisewithmonicairvine.com/episode-36-parenting-teens-while-growing-your-relationship/" target="_blank">HERE</a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> I give even more examples and stories to help you be the best parent you can be.</span></span></span></h4>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-27202073301616219462020-02-03T08:16:00.000-05:002020-02-04T22:22:49.726-05:00Bearing One Another's Burdens by Overcoming Fear<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One time when my son was young, he had a good friend whose father passed away. I wasn't super good friends with the wife of this man. It was one of those relationships where your kids are really good friends and so you interact because of our children, but don’t really hang out outside of that. I really loved this mother of my son's friend, but I still didn't know her that well.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was brokenhearted when I heard this news and didn’t know what to say or do. I remember wanting to call her, but I did not know what to say. I was scared I would say the wrong thing. So I knelt down to pray and I asked the Lord to help me know what to say and to give me the courage to make this phone call. As I got up, I felt the push, “just do it, Monica, just call.” So I did, I picked up the phone and I called and was honestly relieved when it went to voicemail, but I went ahead and left a message. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I didn't have a chance to talk to the wife at the funeral but it was a couple months later when I ran into this mother at the grocery store. While talking, she told me, “Monica, I'm sorry that I never returned your phone call.” And of course, I never expected a return phone call, but she went on to say, “I want you to know that I did hear the message when you called me that day and I just want you to know how much it meant to me. You know, you were the only person that called me besides my parents the day that he died.” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was frozen, I didn't know what to think. I was just so shocked that she said I was the only person that called. Please don't think that I’m trying to pat myself on the back. There's been so many times that I didn't have the courage to call people when I should have called them. This is one time that I did call and I was so close to not calling her that day. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was over the next several weeks, as I ran across a couple of people that knew her, that it dawned on me why no one called her. They didn't call her for the same reason I didn't want to call her, because we were scared. Scared to say the wrong thing and didn't know what to say.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That experience taught me such a valuable lesson. Now I had this motto that says, just do it. I had it before Nike had it and should have trademarked it. Just call, just say it, just apologize, just don't wait.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Just do it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So often we hesitate when we're feeling like we should do something, we let fear get the best of us. If I didn't call her that day, it wouldn't be because I was afraid of anything that she would do. I was afraid for myself. I was afraid that it would be hard or that I would say the wrong thing. </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: 700; white-space: pre-wrap;">So often our fear comes from trying to protect ourselves, but the Lord wants us to be vulnerable, have faith, and to trust in him so that when we are on his errand, we have his support.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It takes faith that when we do what we know is right or when we go forward when we know something is good, even though it's difficult, then that is when we're on the Lord's errand.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I just want to leave you with an invitation to consider the different ways that we can bear one another's burdens. How we can help one another to ease the things that we're all carrying. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I think one of the best things we can do is, in our morning prayers, ask the Lord to help us know today who needs our help. What burdens do we need to help carry today? I know that when we do that, more often than not, throughout the day we will get a thought of somebody that we need to reach out to. Maybe someone that we need to call or maybe someone in the grocery store that we need to give an extra big smile. Those ways are ways that we can carry one another's burdens. </span></div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-74706996873687382822020-01-28T22:11:00.000-05:002020-01-28T22:11:39.410-05:00Bearing One Another's Burdens by Lightening the Load<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know, we usually don't tell everyone all of the burdens that we </span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">are carrying at any given moment for obvious reasons, right? Typically, when </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">someone comes up and says, “Hey, how are you doing Monica?” 98% of the time I'm </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">going to say “I'm doing great” because that's just my response. That doesn't </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">mean that I'm not doing great, but typically, I'm not going to unload whatever </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">burden I'm currently carrying onto just anyone, and I'm sure you're the same </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">way.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XiZVRmn-Zh8/XjD18j8qhmI/AAAAAAAABdU/EE_KTrMe7xMOomlk6kC2MTD_NZQ9OxgQgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Canva%2B-%2BWoman%2BIn%2BWhite%2BShort-sleeved%2BDress%2BHolding%2BBrown%2BLeather%2BSuitcase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1065" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XiZVRmn-Zh8/XjD18j8qhmI/AAAAAAAABdU/EE_KTrMe7xMOomlk6kC2MTD_NZQ9OxgQgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Canva%2B-%2BWoman%2BIn%2BWhite%2BShort-sleeved%2BDress%2BHolding%2BBrown%2BLeather%2BSuitcase.jpg" width="212" /></a><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">We pick and choose and are careful with who we share our burdens </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">with. I'm not going to get into who we're supposed to share our burdens with </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">and who we're not, I couldn't do that even if I tried. That is such a personal </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">decision. It has a lot to do with how we trust one another and the people that </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">we feel safe to share things with.</span></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">When I think about burdens, I like to relate them to a physical </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">burden. For instance, if we thought about the weight of carrying on our backs, a </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">backpack full of rocks. Depending on how many rocks we have in our backpack, </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">and how big and heavy those rocks are, that determines how heavy our burden is.</span></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">As you can guess, if we started sharing our burdens, taking one </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">rock at a time out of our backpack and letting some other people carry a few of </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">those rocks, it would lighten our burden. Then you're thinking, “yeah, but it </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">would also give other people a burden that maybe wasn't theirs to bear.” So now </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I'm taking my burden and dumping it on someone.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">When you start to think those thoughts, stop and think, </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">who wants to try to get us to think like that? Who wants you to feel alone in your burdens?</span></b></span></blockquote>
<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I want you to think about your own children or someone that you </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">love, someone that you care about. What would it feel like? What would you feel </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">like if 10 years down the road you found out that your child or the person that y</span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">ou love so dearly had been carrying a secret, a painful burden, and they had </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">been carrying it for 10 years and you didn't know about it? How during those 10 </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">years you had just treated that person like you always do and interacted with </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">that person like normal. If you found out that there had been this burden that</span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">you had no idea about. Would that make you sad?</span></span><br />
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Would you regret that you hadn't known? Would you wish that you </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">could have known, because you would have liked to have helped if you could? </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Even if you couldn't solve the burden or fix the problem, wouldn’t you have </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">liked to at least known about it. So that you could have prayed for that </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">person. So that you could have been a shoulder to cry on for that person. So </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">that you could have allowed yourself to be a listening ear for that person. </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Wouldn’t you feel better if you could have done something, something to have </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">comforted your loved one.</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">It's easy for us to want to help those we love carry their </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">burdens, but it's so hard for us to allow other people to help us carry our </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">burdens</span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. </span></span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I understand we don't want </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">to be a burden to people, but we've got to remember that one of he greatest </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">joys we each individually will feel in our life is the joy that comes with </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">knowing that we were able to play a small role in helping someone. It's a great </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">joy to know that our life has purpose and meaning. To me, one of the best ways </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">for me to feel like my life has meaning is when I'm able to experience helping </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">someone else.</span></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">So, If we know that that is a way that we experience joy and we </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">experience growth, then we've got to allow other people to serve us in that </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">same way. I would like to invite you to, if you're carrying a burden, and I </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">know that you are at this moment, that you have not shared with anyone, I would </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">invite you to spend a little time in prayer and ask the Lord to help you to </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">know who the right person is for you to share your burden with. I know that it </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">will be a blessing to you when you have someone to help you carry the rocks </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">that are on your back.</span></span></div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-7629f589-7fff-0821-60fb-0e753c54164a"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">This topic of bearing one another’s burdens, actually comes from a chapter in our book, “<a href="https://www.theetiquettefactory.com/product-book-ladies-gentlemen.php" target="_blank">Raising a Generation of Ladies and Gentlemen</a>” which was inspired from scripture.</span></span></span></span></div>
The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-37616553898431260162020-01-27T20:41:00.000-05:002020-01-28T22:17:42.023-05:00Bearing One Another's Burdens by Listening Without Judgement<br />
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This topic of, bearing one another’s burdens, actually comes from a chapter in
our book, “<a href="https://www.theetiquettefactory.com/product-book-ladies-gentlemen.php" target="_blank">Raising a Generation of Ladies and Gentlemen</a>.” This also comes from
scripture. The idea is that <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">we
have a responsibility to one another to help carry one another's burdens. </span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jrRDBMRV-e8/Xi-QjOrDG_I/AAAAAAAABck/vNMiKFYWgYMNWRCsPK0tQxTUyE7-COdngCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/the%2Bgreatest%2Bgift%2Bwe%2Bcan%2Bgive%2Bto%2Bothers%2Bwhile%2Bcarring%2Btheir%2Bburdens%2Bis%2Bto%2Blisten.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jrRDBMRV-e8/Xi-QjOrDG_I/AAAAAAAABck/vNMiKFYWgYMNWRCsPK0tQxTUyE7-COdngCLcBGAsYHQ/s200/the%2Bgreatest%2Bgift%2Bwe%2Bcan%2Bgive%2Bto%2Bothers%2Bwhile%2Bcarring%2Btheir%2Bburdens%2Bis%2Bto%2Blisten.png" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">We all have our
favorite people that we like to talk to and one of those people for me was my grandmother.
She was an incredible listener. I’m not quite sure how she did it, I've tried
to think about it. Was it the way she looked at me? Was it the way that she
tilted her head whenever I was telling her something? Was it because she never
really offered me advice? She really didn't. I can't remember my grandma after confining
in her a problem I was having ever saying, “Well, Monica, I think you need to
do this.” Nevertheless, after I would talk to her about my problems, I felt
better. Also, a lot of times as I discussed things with her, at the end of the
conversation I would have some ideas about things I might could do to help fix
the problem. As I've thought about that over the years, I think her gift was
just listening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">I never felt
like she was judging me because as you can imagine as a teenager, I made a lot
of crazy mistakes and I'm sure as I sat there telling her my dilemmas that deep
down she was going, “Oh dear gracious child, how could you be so dumb?” But
boy, she never made me feel that way. She just listened. I just knew she loved
me and that she just wanted to show her love to me, and so she listened.<span style="background-color: white;"><b> <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">I know that one of the greatest
gifts we can give to others carrying burdens is to listen.</span></b></span><br />
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Now, that’s easier said than done, to listen without judgment is hard. It’s hard
not to get animated or emotional when we see people we love making foolish
decisions. However, typically, I haven't changed my behavior based on someone
telling me, “Monica, that was so foolish. You should have done this, or you
need to do this.” Usually, that's not what made me go, “Hey, you're right. I
should do it this way.” Usually we come to our own determination after making
mistakes, learning the hard way. Sometimes even listening to others experiences,
and what they've learned, is a great way to grow, but usually we have to be
ready to change our behavior.<br />
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Learning how to listen without judging others, learning how to listen without
quickly jumping into wanting to give people advice is a great gift and a way
that we can help carry other people's burdens. Probably if my children, hard me
telling you all that we need to listen without giving advice, they would laugh
at that because I give my children lots of advice. I am trying so hard not to
give my adult children advice. It's a struggle that I am trying every week to
get better about that. I know that my children and those that I love, respond
to me the best when I listen without jumping to advice. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Often when we
are in trouble, we typically don't want or need other people to solve our
problems. However, like you’ve probably have heard me say before, it feels
really good when people say things like, “Monica, I am so sorry that you're
going through that. That makes me so sad that your family is struggling or that
you're having to carry this burden.” It feels good just to know that people
care. That is another way we can carry and bear one another's burdens, just showing
that when they're sad, we're sad, and when they suffer, we suffer, because
that's what we do when we love one another. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">I heard a
quote very recently and it said <b>“When you meet someone, treat them as if they
were in serious trouble and you will be right more than half the time.” </b>I
thought that was such an interesting quote and I bet you that that quote is
correct.<br />
<br />
Anytime we're interacting with anyone, whether it's people that we know or people
that we don't know, more than likely we're surrounded by several people who are
in serious trouble. Maybe serious trouble with their marriage, serious trouble
with their faith, serious trouble with their child, serious trouble at work or
with a serious illness or a serious emotional need. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-95yWEKbKC4M/Xi-QmgPeR7I/AAAAAAAABco/98iT4GCdD9UrDkbh3o4tedWTyIrmcZE8QCEwYBhgL/s1600/%25E2%2580%259CWhen%2Byou%2Bmeet%2Bsomeone%252C%2Btreat%2Bthem%2Bas%2Bif%2Bthey%2Bwere%2Bin%2Bserious%2Btrouble%252C%2Band%2Byou%2Bwill%2Bbe%2Bright%2Bmore%2Bthan%2Bhalf%2Bthe%2Btime.%25E2%2580%259D%2B-Henry%2BB%2BEyring%2B%25281%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-95yWEKbKC4M/Xi-QmgPeR7I/AAAAAAAABco/98iT4GCdD9UrDkbh3o4tedWTyIrmcZE8QCEwYBhgL/s200/%25E2%2580%259CWhen%2Byou%2Bmeet%2Bsomeone%252C%2Btreat%2Bthem%2Bas%2Bif%2Bthey%2Bwere%2Bin%2Bserious%2Btrouble%252C%2Band%2Byou%2Bwill%2Bbe%2Bright%2Bmore%2Bthan%2Bhalf%2Bthe%2Btime.%25E2%2580%259D%2B-Henry%2BB%2BEyring%2B%25281%2529.png" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">If we could see those
burdens, would we act differently? If only there was a bubble above everyone's
head that listed the burdens that they were currently carrying. For example, if
we could see that when we're waiting in the post office line, this lady in
front of us was diagnosed with cancer three weeks ago, her mother is in failing
health, she has a wayward son, et cetera, et cetera. If we had those bubbles
above our head, do you think we would treat each other a little differently? Do
you think we would be a little kinder? Do you think we would be more quick to smile
and say “Hello, how are you?” </span>Do you think
it would change the way we treat one another? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Just because we can't see those
bubbles doesn’t mean those burdens aren’t there. They are there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">I'm a visual
person, and so for me it helps me to imagine those bubbles when I interact with
people, it helps me to think, “I wonder what their bubble would say.” That
doesn't mean I need to know what their bubble would say, but I bet you they’ve
got a bubble and I bet you there's some things written in it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">So as we
interact with others, if we treat others as if they're in trouble, we
probably would be right. Not just half of the time, but most of the time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-22880796803139400422020-01-23T20:53:00.003-05:002020-02-12T13:15:05.239-05:00Get to Know Me and How The Etiquette Factory Began<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hello, and welcome, my name is Monica Irvine and I am the president of The Etiquette Factory. My goal is to help you be the best parents that you can be and to encourage you and lift you up. I hope to learn from you. I hope that you leave lots of comments and lots of suggestions, and I look forward to the wisdom and insight that you can give me as well. </span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eW6vorVhSA4/XipPzQUGqeI/AAAAAAAABb0/l-FJySPNMjwmrvqhi7ft1WIQ3NXpRyiIgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/74665264_153193879383793_5036261475470133225_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eW6vorVhSA4/XipPzQUGqeI/AAAAAAAABb0/l-FJySPNMjwmrvqhi7ft1WIQ3NXpRyiIgCLcBGAsYHQ/s200/74665264_153193879383793_5036261475470133225_n.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want to tell you a little bit about myself, for those of you who don't know me, I'm getting older. I'm 50 years old, and you would think with good etiquette, we don't tell our age to one another, but you might as well know. I am a mom and a wife and a grandmother and life is good. I'm married to a man named, Charles Irvine, and we are coming up on our 27th anniversary this August. Of course, 27 years, that's a big deal. It's a big deal that we've been walking hand in hand through this marriage journey. We don't have a perfect marriage, but it is a perfect marriage for me. Charles is my biggest fan. I often thank the Lord for giving me this man who supports me, loves me, encourages me, and cheers for me, and really is my greatest supporter. That is just such a blessing and I always am and will forever be so grateful for that. I also love that after 26 years, we're still in love. Well, at least I'm still in love with him, let's hope that he's still in love with me. I’m just looking forward to 25 more years. We have fun together. One thing about Charles and I is we enjoy just being together, we laugh a lot, and we just like the same kinds of things. We have a lot in common and he's someone that I love to spend time with and that's a great blessing.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'm also a mom, we've got three boys in our family. When I married Charles, he had these two adorable little boys named, Chad and Tanner. So they've been in my life for a long time and we also have a son between us named Sawyer. Our boys are 33, 30, and 23. So, they're all out of the house and living their own lives and doing lots of really wonderful things and we're so proud of each of them. They bring us a lot of joy. </span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-l5s7F4PXC8M/XipQWjrVBhI/AAAAAAAABcA/sbXNn6P0_xIoGJuZJs9xpBswMWVxxfmCgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/33177999_1083110938510271_3759898728371060736_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-l5s7F4PXC8M/XipQWjrVBhI/AAAAAAAABcA/sbXNn6P0_xIoGJuZJs9xpBswMWVxxfmCgCLcBGAsYHQ/s200/33177999_1083110938510271_3759898728371060736_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Also, I am blessed with two beautiful granddaughters! I finally have someone to play tea party with and someone to share my dolls, barbies and girl stuff with. Things that I kept my whole life. So I'm just really enjoying being a grandmother and having a little girls to play with, and to be "girly" with.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now I want to tell you a little bit about The Etiquette Factory. The Etiquette Factory is kind of my baby. It's my other child. It's a big part of my life. It's my passion and it's what has allowed me to mentor and come into contact with the thousands of parents that I have met over the past years. I want to tell you a little bit about how I started with the etiquette factory so that you get to know my thought process and what I'm passionate about. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My youngest, Sawyer went through the fourth grade in public school and then I took him out, and started homeschooling him in fifth grade. Now, I want you to know that I never intended to home school. In fact, even when Sawyer started kindergarten, I remember this thought of homeschooling kept coming to my mind. Every time it would come up, I would just as quickly as possible get it out of my mind because I did not want to do that. I thought that was crazy, and only crazy people did that. I wanted no part of that. Plus, it wasn't just that I thought that I was not capable of homeschooling my child, but I thought I would ruin his life if I tried to home school him, and that's a whole other story. The point of this story is I was homeschooling him, and that's how The Etiquette Factory started.</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7WT6VRdC7jo/XkRAM-6FOwI/AAAAAAAABfE/0Ue-6XPQ7cUpmCgjCId8z9Q7yvXiMElmQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/rules.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7WT6VRdC7jo/XkRAM-6FOwI/AAAAAAAABfE/0Ue-6XPQ7cUpmCgjCId8z9Q7yvXiMElmQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/rules.jpg" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When Sawyer was in fifth grade, we started studying about George Washington. In the process of learning about our first president, we came across<b> <a href="https://www.theetiquettefactory.com/products.php?catId=9&itmId=21&bundle=1&showprice=0" target="_blank">George Washington's rules of civility and decent behavior.</a></b> If you have never read those little rules, I highly encourage you to Google them and read them. Basically, when George Washington was around 13 years old, he was being mentored by a minister at the time, and that minister encouraged him to brush up on his chivalry skills. There's 110 chivalry rules that, the history books say, George Washington recorded out of a French book on etiquette. As far as I can see in the research I've done, it looks like we don't know exactly who the original author is of those 110 chivalry skills was, but what we do know is that we found that list in President Washington's handwriting. So we do know that at some point, he did actually write out all of those 110 chivalry skills. They are beautiful. They're written in old English, so yes, you have to get the dictionary out for a few of them, and there's some funny ones. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For example, one of my favorites, and I'm summarizing here, is, "It's not polite to remove lice from your companion in public,." Which I thought was very good advice. Most of the skills are timeless. And as I was reading these skills, something just really moved inside me. I thought they were so beautiful and I thought, wow, what would it mean for our society to live these skills still today?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I read those skills, I saw that we don't live many of them anymore. I guess, we've gotten a little lazy when it comes to chivalry. Maybe we just don't think they're as important anymore and so we have let our guard down and maybe we’ve become more casual with the way that we interact with one another. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Of course, what I was most interested in was teaching Sawyer to have impeccable manners. I already knew that people who have impeccable manners have more opportunities before them. Today, whenever you do meet someone with really good manners, whether it's a young person or even an adult, you're kind of taken aback. It's like, "Whoa, what planet did you just come from?" You're intrigued with it and impressed with it. So I really wanted to give Sawyer those things and I saw that he was missing some skills.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You know how sometimes you'll watch your kids do something, and you'll ask yourself, “Okay, have I really not taught them to do that? I cannot believe they just thought that was okay to do.” I was having some of those moments, maybe more often than I wanted. I just saw that we had some lapses and we needed to brush up on these skills. So, as a home school mom, I wanted to find a curriculum that taught my son manners. Manners for the 21st century, I guess is what I was looking for. As I started looking for something that taught manners in a very organized approach, I could not find anything. However, I did find in my investigation that I could go through etiquette training and become a certified etiquette instructor.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There were a couple of different schools around the nation and they're more industry driven. So, I thought, well, if I learned myself then surely that would help me teach Sawyer some more etiquette skills. So that's exactly what I did. But the more I learned, the more excited I became about teaching this to not only my children but to other children. And so that's exactly what I did. The first thing I did after a year and a half of training is, I started running Manners camps for kids. Really, the truth is the first summer when I scheduled all of these manners camps, I didn't know if anyone would pay me $1 to send their kids to manners camp. However, I knew I would pay someone a lot of money to teach my son manners.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I thought, “maybe there's more than just me.” And what was so interesting is after about two months of marketing, five of my six camps had a waiting list. That's when I knew I was not the only person searching for help. That launched The Etiquette Factory, and the rest is history. It's just been the most rewarding journey. Sometimes I sit back and I look at all of the products that we've developed and I can’t believe it. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We've got educators in eight countries and 14 States that run The Etiquette Factory in their city or in their country. Some of them are just doing amazing things. I remember the first time I was emailed this little video and an image of these children in Nigeria who were singing The Etiquette Factory songs. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was so moved, I was brought to tears thinking that this is worldwide, these skills are being taught around the world. These are so universal, even though, yes, there's some cultural differences, but most of these skills are universal. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wanted to quickly close by giving you my definition of etiquette because this is so important. The definition that we use at The Etiquette Factory is, etiquette, or manners is helping those around us to feel valued and to feel comfortable. It's an outward expression of how we feel on the inside. That's what I would like to share with the world and what I would like to help you share with your children.</span></div>
The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-9181524417053323032019-05-21T08:36:00.000-04:002020-02-12T12:32:07.117-05:00Let's Remember our Etiquette When we Fly<br />
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Let's discuss some airplane etiquette...for the sake of us all <span class="_47e3 _5mfr" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 0px 1px; vertical-align: middle;" title="smile emoticon"><img alt="" class="img" height="16" role="presentation" src="https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/teb/2/16/1f642.png" style="border: 0px; vertical-align: -3px;" width="16" /><span aria-hidden="true" class="_7oe" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 0px; width: 0px;">:)</span></span></div>
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--If you have a cold or allergies, please make sure you have a cloth or handkerchief that you can sneeze into. Your hand or turning or head to the side is really not ok when on a plane due to the extremely close proximity to others. Please plan ahead.</div>
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--If your child is with you, regardless of how difficult it is, you really must keep their little feet off of the seat in front of them. Truly, it is so uncomf<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">ortable to be sitting with constant little kicks in your back for hours on end. Now, with that said, those of us sitting in front of those little feet, please do not ever allow yourself to feel anger towards a child. They are innocent and are never doing anything with the purpose of making you miserable. Have patience and love in your heart, even though it's bothersome.</span></div>
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--When you are talking, be aware of the volume of your voice. Literally, we need to speak in HUSHED TONES on an airplane. People are traveling for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they have been traveling for more than 20 hours. Sometimes they are going to or coming from a funeral of a loved one. Sometimes they are traveling for treatment for a chronic illness. It is NOT polite to be loud and boisterous with our conversation or laugh when in such close proximity to others. PLEASE, BE AWARE OF YOUR VOLUME. </div>
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--There's no reason to be mad because the person in front of you decides to recline their seat. People, that's just part of it. Reclining your seat can help so much and it's simply a feature on most planes. Deal with it and quit or grumbling.</div>
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--When it's time to leave the plane, the protocol is that each isle exits in the order of the isle. If you're in the back, yep, you're going to be waiting a while. It's just part of it. If you want to leave sooner, you've got to pay for the seats up front. it's just that simple.</div>
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--For this one, I'm not saying never, but what I will say is please know that bringing food on the plane that is "high odor" is not the most polite thing to do to other guest. Meaning, bringing on a burger smothered in grilled onions so everyone on the plane has to endure your onions while you eat them, is not being sensitive to others. If you have to bring food onto a plane, consider foods that are not high in odor. Turkey sandwiches are great <span class="_47e3 _5mfr" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 0px 1px; vertical-align: middle;" title="smile emoticon"><img alt="" class="img" height="16" role="presentation" src="https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/teb/2/16/1f642.png" style="border: 0px; vertical-align: -3px;" width="16" /><span aria-hidden="true" class="_7oe" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 0px; width: 0px;">:)</span></span></div>
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--Finally, please be sensitive to little ones around you when considering the media you choose to watch while flying. Yes, I know it's a free country and yes, I know you have the right to watch whatever you want to, but just because we have the right, does not mean that we should. If you know there are young people around you, I would hope that you would not watch anything extremely graphic or that has nudity. We all have a responsibility to protect the innocent always and at all times, regardless of whose they are.</div>
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Happy Flying!!</div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-13438721744607850282019-01-07T22:14:00.000-05:002020-02-12T12:30:32.958-05:00Being Positive Can Save Your Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I hope you all are having a fabulous month and looking forward to another week, blessed with time. Time to share, time to love, time to talk and time to count our many blessings. Well, I know it sounds like I’m being all happy and joyful right now and actually, there’s a reason for this behavior. Did you know that it is polite to be positive, which means it is impolite to be negative. Well....it is!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Sometimes, I want to shout at the top of my lungs to certain people to, “Stop Complaining!!!!!” Yes, I know things are hard and difficult and uncertain right now and I’m feeling those things too, but how in the world does it help any of us to go around complaining, whining and fussing about all the gloom and doom in the world? It helps nothing. I know that there are people who suffer at a level that I cannot even relate to and never will. My heart hurts knowing others have to suffer so. However, I know that in order to help uplift each other and support each other, we have got to become more positive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We Americans, forget too easily the blessings we enjoy. We are becoming so hard and cynical towards our elected officials, our way of life, our future. Yes, of course we’ve got problems, some very big ones, but let’s stop complaining and let’s become a part of the solution. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Ladies and gentleman are:</span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who look for the positive in all things</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who see adversity and know that this is a time to triumph</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who refuse to give up, complain or fail</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who are more concerned with their neighbors’ troubles, than their own</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who smile regardless of their day, so that they can help others to feel safe and comforted</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who look at troubled times as an opportunity to show compassion</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who ask themselves, “What can I do to change this situation?” and then do it</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who ask themselves, “What can’t I change in this situation?” and then forget it</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who know that greatness comes from trying</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">people who know that a positive attitude can not only change your day, but the day of everyone around you</span></li>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">May we all strive to be more positive and more cheerful. Remember, true etiquette comes when our focus is on lifting those around us. Why can staying positive save your life? Because, it gives you your life back--the good life. Try it and see!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Happy thoughts,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Monica Irvine</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">a.k.a. Mary Manners</span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;">#MannersMatter #StayPositive #TeachingManners #MannersforKids</span></div>
The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-73228560654062270992018-09-29T10:42:00.001-04:002018-09-30T16:07:19.467-04:00A Warning to Parents--Be Careful How Your Children Hear You Discussing the Kavanaugh Situation<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-T8MLEarxIts/W6-NxiXpENI/AAAAAAAAAiw/CNCTCqczG_M_ZHkUzPXIdM0aeigx0XdWQCLcBGAs/s1600/lonely%2Bkid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="852" height="180" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-T8MLEarxIts/W6-NxiXpENI/AAAAAAAAAiw/CNCTCqczG_M_ZHkUzPXIdM0aeigx0XdWQCLcBGAs/s320/lonely%2Bkid.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Over the past couple of days, I have been horrified at the comments I have seen and heard through social media and news outlets as well as comments from people I know.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Regardless of who is telling the truth in this situation between Dr. Ford and Judge Kavanaugh, let’s make sure that we are not sending the wrong message to our children because, if we’re not careful, we can literally silence our own children if they ever find themselves a victim of sexual assault.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">For starters, may I suggest that if you have never personally experienced a sexual assault, then please know that you really do not know what you are talking about. Secondly, it is absolutely 100% irrelevant whether or not penetration happened, or what actual sex act occurred. IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! It does not matter whether someone only violated someone with their hands, with their mouth or any part of their body or even another object. When someone is touched, groped, exposed, penetrated or any other sexual act, it is still a sexual assault. Yes, I realize that there are different levels of violence and abuse and of course some victims experience horrific violations, however, please know that no one can rate the level of harm someone experiences from their sexual assault. It’s not something that can be measured. It’s not something that can be compared.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I have literally heard sexual assault survivors demean Dr. Ford’s experience because it wasn’t as “bad” as their's or because Dr. Ford does not have a memory of everything as perhaps another sexual assault survivor has. I cannot even fathom anyone who has been through any type of sexual assault ever reducing the pain or the believability of another sexual assault survivor because their experiences were different.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I have heard parents talk about Dr. Ford putting herself in a compromising position. I have seen people post, once again, pictures of girls dressed seductively, with the caption that if you don’t want it, don’t advertise it. Are you kidding me? Let me explain to you what children and women and even men hear when you say and post such things. Let me explain the dangerous, dangerous message that we send to our children when they hear us discussing such explanations for a sexual assault.</span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">When you talk about what people were wearing before they were assaulted, your children hear you saying: Are you sure it’s not your fault? Yes, the perpetrator(s) should not have done what they did, but perhaps if you were dressed differently, you would not have appeared that you wanted to be assaulted against your will. Your dress sends a message that you are wanting to be held down, against your will and that even if you say “No,” you don’t mean “No” because like I said, you were dressed in a way that announced, “You really wanted it. So in the end, this is really your fault.<br />
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">When you talk about that Dr. Ford should not have been at a party with boys who were drinking beer when she was only 15, your children hear you saying: When you are somewhere that you shouldn’t be, you can’t be upset when someone decides to take advantage of you and molest you, even if you didn’t want it. Yes, sexual assault is wrong but what did you expect when you go where teenagers are drinking beer? Haven’t I always told you not to be where there’s alcohol. This is really your fault.</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">When you talk about that if Dr. Ford was telling the truth, she would be able to remember where she was, how she got home, etc. then your children and other sexual assault victims hear you saying: The only way I’m going to believe you about your assault is if you can tell me every detail. I need to know the time, the place, who else was there, describe the room, describe the house, etc. If you don’t remember these details, then you must be making this up because who would forget these details if a traumatic event had happened?</span></li>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Parents, these kind of remarks are so dangerous because God forbid your child end up the victim of sexual assault. You are contributing to their silence. And, this is a crime that when suffered in silence, the pain can rob you of joy, of healthy relationships, of peace. When suffered in silence, it can lead to depression, anxiety, suicide and other mental health challenges. What do our children need to hear us say? </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">"Honey, if you ever find yourself a victim of a sexual assault, I don’t care what you were doing, where you were, what you were wearing, who you were with that you weren’t supposed to be with, what was going on there regardless of how legal or appropriate, what rules you were violating or even if you made the stupidest decision of your life, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT AND YOU CAN TELL ME. I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE YOU!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Now parents, of course we’re going to teach our children I hope to dress in a way that shows respect for themselves and others, but not for the reason of not being raped, but for the purpose of self respect.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Of course, we’re going to teach our children to avoid situations that could put them in harms way to the best of their ability because this will contribute to their safety and happiness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Of course we’re going to teach them the dangers of underage drinking, drug use, going to parties where alcohol is being served, etc. etc. But I got news for you, your children are NOT always going to make good choices. They are going to screw up. They are going to make stupid stupid choices sometimes because they are children. If they feel like if they make a stupid decision and something happens to them, that they can’t tell you because they will get in trouble because of where they were or what they were doing, then guess what, they will not tell you. If they feel like they won’t be believed because the person was a trusted family friend or a relative or someone that their family loved or perhaps they don’t remember the details then they will not tell you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">If they are afraid that they will be judged because they didn’t scream or they didn’t run or they didn’t tell anyone for a long time, then they will not tell you. Parents you have to ask yourself, if your child was assaulted, would you want to know? Would you want to walk the path of healing with your child? Would you want to get them professional help if needed? Would you want your child to believe that they can move forward from this type of pain and find happiness again? If you want to be a part of that, then they have to tell you. What are you telling them today, to make sure that they know you are a safe person to tell?</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Please stop with your judgements. Please stop saying what sounds reasonable or unreasonable to you what a victim would or would not do or know. Even if you have been through it yourself, your experience is not their experience. Please just listen and learn and have compassion on one another.</span></div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-23141801323526746272018-03-27T09:11:00.003-04:002020-02-12T13:16:29.548-05:00Business Etiquette 101— A Professional Seeks to Make Things Right Immediately<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We all make mistakes. Quite often it seems. A professional however, is quick to acknowledge their mistakes and tries to make things right, as quickly as possible. This behavior requires courage, humility and a commitment to ethical practices.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I think we’ve all experienced working with those who have an endless supply of excuses and a fervent determination to avoid responsibility. I hope this is not us. It really is a matter of integrity. Someone with integrity is honest in all things and that means that they are also honest with themselves and others regarding their performance or lack thereof.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’m not suggesting that we go around announcing to the world each day all of our failures or weaknesses. No, not at all. But what I am suggesting is that we take responsibility for our own actions without blame, without deterrents and without a desire to deceive in any way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Let’s say that I was responsible for getting a financial report to my boss for a large project coming up and it was due by today at 5:00pm. I “dropped the ball” on a few things and the report is not ready by 5:00. Some people, who lack professionalism might:</span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">blame the delay on information that has not been received from others that is necessary for the report (knowing that it was their fault because they didn’t ask the other people for the information until yesterday).</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">blame the delay on untrue circumstances like illness, family emergencies, etc.</span></li>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I think you get the point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">While, someone with integrity might say to their boss, </span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">“I know you’re going to be disappointed in me, but it looks like I did not plan well and have let this deadline slip up on me without the report being completed.”</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">“I am not going to be able to have the report to you by 5 which I am extremely sorry for, but will have it to you by 5 tomorrow. I have had to reanalyze my production schedule and have made some changes so that I can keep my commitments to you in the future. I hope you will give me another chance. I’m really sorry.”</span></li>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I think you get the point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Being honest and ethical does not guarantee job security. But it does guarantee a clear conscious, honor and self respect. May each of us acknowledge quickly our mistakes and then recommit to improvement.</span></div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-83836375781986761762018-02-19T19:07:00.000-05:002018-02-19T19:07:01.039-05:00Business Etiquette 101--A Professional Does Not Make Unofficial Complaints<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9w_5lexdCho/UZpRhpTsbBI/AAAAAAAAAI0/2MmAgOugc7Adn7j84w4y7xrOc-J1zoPoQCPcBGAYYCw/s1600/iStock_woman%2Bin%2Bsuit%2BSmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="845" data-original-width="568" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9w_5lexdCho/UZpRhpTsbBI/AAAAAAAAAI0/2MmAgOugc7Adn7j84w4y7xrOc-J1zoPoQCPcBGAYYCw/s320/iStock_woman%2Bin%2Bsuit%2BSmall.jpg" width="215" /></a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">Let me ask you a question, “Do you enjoy working with or spending time with those that habitually complain?”</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">I already know your answer.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">Have you ever noticed that when people start complaining, they typically do not start my asking, “Hey do you all mind if I just unload my life right now onto you, so you can carry some of it too?”</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">But, they should!</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">That’s what’s happening right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">A professional does not complain, ever. Now before we get all knotted up inside, let me add…a professional never makes unofficial complaints. An unofficial complaint is simply complaining with no purpose other than to “let off steam,” build our own support for our anger or to tear down the ones we are complaining about. On the other hand, an official complaint is when we are unhappy or unsatisfied with the functioning of a team, project, policy etc, yet we have a solution of how to make it better. If we have a solution for improvement, then we have an official complaint.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We handle official complaints by taking them to our superior and asking permission to share our idea. If our superior does not respond in a way that is satisfactory to us, then we must decide whether or not to take our official complaint to the next person in the chain of command. We can do this, once we have informed our superior that we are doing so.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">A professional knows the difference in official and unofficial complaints. A profession remembers that everyone has a right to come to work and just work, focusing on the job at hand. Yes, of course we all have personal and professional stressors that we need to discuss with others at times, but we should be extremely careful about how and who we relay these frustrations. Work is not the place to unload unofficial complaints about the job, our spouse, our co-workers, the weather, etc. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Let’s make sure that you and I are contributors to the positive energy in our place of work and let’s make sure that we do not distract from the job at hand. Have a great month.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">For information regarding Business Etiquette Training for your staff, please email Monica at: monica@TheEtiquetteFactory.com</span></div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-90835037885025817062017-09-11T12:59:00.000-04:002017-09-11T12:59:13.737-04:00Teaching Our Children to be Reliable<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-msg_M4ND3QE/WbbAxpxLr_I/AAAAAAAAAgA/PRjjJ-r_KG0urTQCggIhn00qCzGXe0DNwCLcBGAs/s1600/family%2Bplaying%2Bbaseball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="480" height="213" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-msg_M4ND3QE/WbbAxpxLr_I/AAAAAAAAAgA/PRjjJ-r_KG0urTQCggIhn00qCzGXe0DNwCLcBGAs/s320/family%2Bplaying%2Bbaseball.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px;">Parents, this might sting a little.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px;">The fact is, it’s very difficult to teach our children how to be reliable and the importance that this valuable life skill is if we ourselves are not reliable.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px;">I know that you and I already know this, however allow me to ask you a few questions.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">If I were to ask your children today, “When your mom/dad tells you that they are going to do something with you, what’s the chances of that happening? For instance, if your mom/dad tells you that you all are going to do something fun, later today or perhaps on Saturday, will you go? How likely is it that something will come up and prevent you all from keeping that commitment?” </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">A few more questions: do you often tell a friend or associate that you will call them soon or email them soon and then you never do? Have you committed to helping a friend move, meeting your mom for lunch or a myriad of other obligations that for one reason or another, have been forgotten or not followed through with?</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I know we want to raise children who keep their commitments and know that when they give their word to others, it means something. Parents, this will rarely happen if our children do not watch you and I be commitment keepers. They must learn to trust and understand that trust comes through keeping our word.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">May I suggest that we each ponder if there is room in our lives for improvement in this area. If we identify that there is room, commit today to not only yourself, but to your family that from this day forward, you are going to do better. It’s difficult to make changes when we do not tell anyone else about our commitment. We each need accountability.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">If you’re not sure that you will be able to follow through with something, do not commit. If you do however, make sure that your priority each day is to keep the commitments you have already made to others. If and when things come up, important things that prevent you from keeping your previous commitments, be completely honest and inform the individual counting on you promptly, so that they may make necessary changes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">May we do what we say so that our children can follow our example.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Very best,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Monica Irvine</span></div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-843897752851330192017-08-22T16:27:00.000-04:002020-02-12T12:47:53.206-05:00We Just Need to Be Kinder<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I want to talk about a simple topic, but one I think we struggle with at times, especially inside the walls of our own homes. It's kindness.<br />
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If I were to ask your spouse, companion or kids if you were kind, what would they say?<br />
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I think we would all admit that oftentimes, it's easier to be more kind to total strangers than to those we live with, but just because it might be easier doesn't mean that it's okay. <br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">We have to put forth every</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;"> effort to just be kind.</span></b></div>
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How do we do this? Here are some great suggestions, but as you might imagine, there are endless opportunities.<br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Speak softly</span></b>. The more gentle and kind your tone of voice, the more likely those around you will listen.<br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Say "good morning" when you wake up and "hello" when you get home. </span></b> Remember that greetings are a polite way to address anyone when you first see them that day or after an absence.<br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Serve.</span></b> Small acts of unexpected services goes a long way in showing your love to others, especially your family. Take a piece of cake home to your spouse, give your son a back rub, ask your daughter if you could help her do her nails--anything to show others you're thinking of them and enjoy making them happy.<br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Say "thank you" all the time.</span></b> "Thank you for doing the dishes." "Thank you for watching what I wanted to watch." "Thank you for always being there."<br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Compliment more than complain. </span></b> Compliments go much further in creating love in a home rather than complaining. I know it can be frustrating when you feel things aren't being done like they need to be done, or assignments or obligations are forgotten about, but complaining usually doesn't motivate people to act. Most of us are inspired when our hearts are turned to someone in a positive way. We want to please them. We want to receive their praise.<br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Smile.</span></b> Let's be honest, how much fun is it to be around someone who's always frowning? It no. Just smile. I'm not saying you have to show all your teeth all day every day, but there's a way to have a pleasant look on your face, and there's a way to have a scowl on your face. Choose the smile.<br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Do it because you want to, not so you can get something in return.</span></b> If you're choosing to serve, to help, to compliment, etc. in order to get something in return, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Just do it because doing so makes you happy. If no one notices, if no one says thank you, just be happy because you're living and loving the way you should and there's nothing that can satisfy you as much as being happy with yourself.<br />
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Have a great month and remember to be kind!<br />
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Monica IrvineThe Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-16203033831157287602017-08-15T09:34:00.000-04:002020-03-27T23:44:28.888-04:00How Do We Teach Our Children to Have Moral Courage?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">Can we teach courage?</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">Can we help our children to develop moral courage, the courage to stand up in the face of adversity, staying true to both themselves and the things that they hold dear and true?</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">As we look around, it’s easy to see that our society is struggling to not only identify moral conviction, but to also identify when and the best way to stand up and be a voice for good, a voice against oppression of the weak, and a</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">voice of strength for all that is right.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I believe that we absolutely can teach moral courage to our children who will need it to be engraved upon their hearts and minds in order to leave this world better than they found it. We start, like with all things, when they are very young. We start by helping our children to notice injustices, those in need and those who need an advocate. It’s more than just noticing, but it realizing that we as individuals have enormous power to cause change. </span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Unless we believe that one can make a difference, than we might shrink at the opportunity to do so.</b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">A great way to start is to continually find and read about and discuss others from the past who have done just that. There are so many books to read to our children, but why not be more purposeful in the books that we choose, starting when they are very young. Look for books about common people who have demonstrated great courage, moral conviction and impeccable character and because of these qualities have made a huge difference in individual lives. We never want to underestimate the importance of the single individual. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Another wonderful thing we can do to teach courage to our children is to help them overcome things that they are afraid of. <u>Teaching our children to do hard things is imperative to their success</u>. Such things might be: going over to another child on the playground and introducing themselves and inviting them to play, role playing with our children what to do when they see another child being teased or bullied so they are prepared to defend those who need defending, teaching our children to speak for themselves at a very early age by refraining from speaking for our children, and many other things.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Finally, it is important to help our children to identify their own strengths, talents and abilities that God has given them. As they identify their unique abilities, as parents, it is our duty to help them to understand that the reason God has blessed each of us with these talents is to bless the lives of God’s other children. When our children better comprehend that they have the power to do great good on this earth, it unlocks the doors of compassion, service and advocacy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Courage is to act, even when we are afraid, but it takes practice. Start today.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">Want more resources for raising courageous children? C</span>heck out our <a href="https://www.fundamentals4kids.com/" target="_blank"><b>Fundamentals4kids</b></a> program for ages pre-k through 3rd grade and our <a href="https://www.theetiquettefactory.com/products.php?catId=1&itmId=28&bundle=1&showprice=0" target="_blank"><b>Life Skills For You</b></a> program for ages 4th-12th grade.</span></div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-41356921562646619772017-08-08T07:00:00.000-04:002020-02-12T12:35:17.484-05:00Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I would like to speak about a topic that I'm rather sensitive about as I see our society getting farther and farther away from this etiquette consideration. <br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">It's polite to be aware of who is within our earshot when speaking about certain topics or using particular language. </span></b></div>
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Something that has most definitely changed in recent decades is the manner that women and men will speak in the presence of those of the opposite sex.<br />
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<i><b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Today it seems like there are little boundaries about conversation.</span></b></i></div>
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Let me give you a few things to consider.<br />
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Gentlemen, its not polite for you to speak about vulgar topics, use foul language, or speak about gross or inappropriate things when you're in the presence or earshot of ladies.<br />
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Recently I was stuck on a crowded bus with two gentlemen standing right in front of me wearing prestigious suits and holding professional briefcases. They appeared to be quite the gentlemen. Then they started speaking. <br />
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They began a discussion with me standing right in front of them, that was anything but appropriate. I thought to myself, "I wonder why they think it's okay to speak like that in front of me?" It was obvious--they didn't respect me or themselves enough to watch their tongue in front of a lady. Let me remind you something about manners. <br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;"><i>Manners are not lists of dos and don'ts.</i></span></b> They're an outward expression that shows how you feel about yourself and those around you. That's why it matters.<br />
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Ladies, it not polite to speak negatively about men, use foul or inappropriate language, or speak of feminine health issues in the presence of gentlemen, especially those you don't have a close personal relationship with. <br />
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As ladies you want to seek helping those around you feel comfortable, and as you speak in a way that is ind, generous, and gracious, others will be more comfortable in your presence.<br />
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Both ladies and gentlemen should be careful to keep their conversation positive, upbeat, and cheerful when speaking at the dinner table. You want to be a source of strength, encouragement, and positive energy to others, and the way you use your tongue will most definitely be a source of strength or a source of weakness to yourself and others.<br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>Do your best to be aware of those around you when it comes to your language and speech. </b></span></div>
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Yes, this is a free country, and yes, you may say whatever you want to. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.<br />
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Restraint and respect are two traits that every gentleman and lady has. Do you?<br />
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Monica Irvine<br />
<br />The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-41120867315703197242017-07-25T14:17:00.000-04:002020-02-12T12:35:36.069-05:00I Wish We Would Notice More<div style="background-color: white; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, "Segoe UI", "Segoe WP", Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif, serif, EmojiFont; font-size: 15px; line-height: normal;">
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">A lady and a gentleman notice.</span></b><span style="color: #212121;"> What kinds of things do we notice? Well, perhaps we might notice:</span></div>
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<li style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">A little old lady or man standing behind us in the post office line, struggling to stand in the long line. <i>Wonder if we could change places with them?</i></li>
<li style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;"></span>A mother with three kids trying to carry luggage and kids and stuff, getting on an airplane. <i>Wonder if we could help carry some of that?</i></li>
<li style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;"></span>A homeless man or lady, regardless of whose fault it is that they’re homeless, who is standing outside a store on a hot day. <i>Wonder if we could buy a cold bottle of water and give it to him or her?</i></li>
<li style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;"></span>A person walking towards us with their heads down, looking a bit unhappy or concerned over something. <i>Wonder if we could make eye contact, smile and say, “Hello there. I hope you have a good day”?</i></li>
<li style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;"></span>The clerk at Walmart that looks tired and faking a smile. <i>Wonder if we could start a conversation with them, helping them to know that people really do care?</i></li>
<li style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;"></span>Our own child, making comments like, “Mom I wish you could play with me” or “Dad, do you think you will have time to play after your important work.” <i>Wonder if we could recognize the unspoken feelings of loneliness and need for attention?</i></li>
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Ladies and gentlemen, it’s is so very easy to get caught up in our own needs, responsibilities and obligations. But, here’s the deal. If we’re too busy to do the most important things, than we’re too busy. </div>
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">If we’re too busy to stop and serve others, then we’re too busy. </span></b><span style="color: #212121;"> </span></div>
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Surely we can all see that at the end of the day, and even at the end of our life, all that will really matter is who we have helped.</div>
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Have a great month.</div>
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Monica Irvine </div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-82439684803585499932017-07-15T11:06:00.001-04:002017-07-15T11:06:40.404-04:00Dear President Trump,<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5X0NcWeXFUc/WWovOCW5xCI/AAAAAAAAAco/iOQJgd7qHTEIm3Gg6cTyd0qS2fKmcrR1QCLcBGAs/s1600/PresidentialSeal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1582" data-original-width="1600" height="316" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5X0NcWeXFUc/WWovOCW5xCI/AAAAAAAAAco/iOQJgd7qHTEIm3Gg6cTyd0qS2fKmcrR1QCLcBGAs/s320/PresidentialSeal.jpg" width="320" /></a>I implore you, please remember who you are. <br />
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You are a representative of the United States of America, a country that was built on principles of integrity, honor and protecting human rights. As our leader, when others interact with you, they must be reminded of these principles, as it reminds them of the greatness and goodness of this country.<br />
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Of course you must represent strength, as this characteristic gives confidence to both Americans and the world, however you must continue to show your strength by showing humility. Humility means that you are teachable, that you listen, that you are willing to admit when you have been mistaken. When someone says, "I was wrong" or "I'm sorry" or "I spoke too soon," that is someone who others can trust, because they know that this person is not above being wrong, which means their desire to be honest, outweighs their concern with being weak and human, which we all are. There is nothing that shows greater strength, than someone who can admit their follies.<br />
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To be honorable, means to be true to the principles of goodness, fairness, kindness, forgiveness, and honesty. As Americans, we want so desperately, and need so fervently, for our President to be someone that we can all point to with admiration and gratitude for their goodness, so that our children will know that the goodness of this country, is based on the goodness of its people. Yes, of course even the President cannot be perfect, but he can be perfect in trying his very best to be honorable in all things, in all places--with his speech and with his actions. Surely, we deserve this kind of President. Surely this country deserves nothing less.<br />
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America was defined from it's beginning as a country striving to understand and protect the rights of all human beings. The rights that both you, Mr President, and I have to pursue happiness, worship according to the dictates of our own hearts, and determine our own course and future, must be protected at any cost. Unless you and I believe with our whole heart that every human being deserves these rights, than we cannot govern and protect this country and its principles in an honorable way.<br />
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Mr President, please please be more kind. Please please be more considerate. Please please show more restraint. Please please spend some time on your knees every day, seeking the wisdom of God as you make your decisions. You do not have all the answers, but he does. We need divine guidance to govern this country successfully. This guidance and counsel is available to anyone, who is willing to seek it and obey it.<br />
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What will it take? What will have to happen to help you to understand, the mantle in which you bear, is the mantle of a people desperate for a righteous leader? <br />
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Very best,<br />
Monica Irvine<br />
American--wanting to be proud<br />
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<br />The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-68409509933559469542017-07-13T08:00:00.000-04:002017-07-13T08:00:16.102-04:00Speak to Your Children with Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Parents, we must stop speaking to our children behind clinched teeth and with with angry eyes and cuttingly sharp voices. <br />
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I have seen time and time again, and it seems more often these days, parents speaking and handling their children with such contempt and hostility and impatience that it breaks my heart in two. <br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">When we continue to interact and speak with out children without love patience and sincerity, we are contributing to them growing up as angry, unhappy children who will bear the scars of emotional damage.</span></b></div>
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We may not think of ourselves as child abusers, but I assure you, if we are continuing to break our children's spirits, we are indeed child abusers. We have only a small amount of time where we have the opportunity to be our children's heroes. When they are young, they are so impressionable and want so desperately to please us and to be loved and cherished as we all do. <br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Children will react and exemplify the behavior they learn from their parents and caregivers, every single time.</span></b></div>
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I worked in a preschool during college, and while there I learned an invaluable lesson. I had some children in my class who were aggressive, who were often angry, and who struggled to have healthy relationships with other children. <br />
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In contrast, I had many children who were kind, gently, happy and content with most situations. <br />
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As I met and got to know the parents of all the children, it soon became evident where the children learned their behaviors. (Please know that I am not speaking about children who suffer with real behavior issues, cognitive disabilities, social disabilities, and the like.) What I witnessed was the parents who were most often aggressively pulling on their children, impatiently removing or putting on coats, threatening to discipline once home, etc. were the ones who had the most aggressive children.<br />
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Then I noticed the parents who came in smiling, hugging and being gentle with their children, both with their words and tone, as well as physically, were the parents with the most gentle children. The softer the parents spoke and behaved, the more kind were the children.<br />
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You may argue against this idea. You many want to discuss all the variables that can lead to children's behavior and personality, and I know you would have many valuable points and truths.<br />
I also know there are exceptions. However, regardless of all that, <b>if we want gentle, kind children, they MUST see it and feel it from us.</b><br />
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Please let's speak with kindness, handle with gentleness and be much more patient with these beautiful souls entrusted to us.<br />
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Love Much,<br />
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Monica IrvineThe Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-5314598692029770942017-06-27T08:00:00.000-04:002017-06-27T08:00:29.331-04:005 Etiquette Skills Not to Forget to Teach Our Children<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Why couldn't someone come up with a list that includes every single thing we must teach our children before they turn 18? Then we could just check them off as we went. Are you laughing yet? Nope, it doesn't really work like that.<br />
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There are many etiquette skills we sometimes just don't think to teach our children until we're in the moment and realize "Oops, I don't think we've talked about that."<br />
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Here are just a few of those:<br />
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<li><i><b><span style="color: #0b5394;">It's never polite for your children to go to school, church, etc. with invitations to a birthday party or event unless they are inviting every single child in the school, church, etc. </span></b></i> What a heartbreak when one child sees other children receiving invitations, only to be passed by and left without one. Unless you're inviting everyone, only mail or email invitations.</li>
<li><b><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">Have you taught your children what to do when the American flag is brought into a room or when the national anthem is played?</span></i></b> Too often I see these events happening and children are simply at a loss as to appropriate behavior. Teach your children to stand when the flag is raised or brought into a room and to face the flag while standing when the national anthem is played. Teach them that it's rude to talk or make noise when this is going on. Although it's not necessary, you may place your hand over your heart during the national anthem. Always be at attention. To learn more considerations towards our flag, visit www.usa-flag-site.org</li>
<li><b><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">It's not polite to double dip.</span></i></b> If you take a bite of a chip, then it would be rude to take the half-eaten chip and re-dip it into a bowl of dip. Maybe you do this in your own home, but you don't do this when eating in a public or with a group.</li>
<li><b><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">It's not polite to touch other people's babies or pets without their permission.</span></i></b> Many parents are very concerned about germs when it comes to their small children, so you should never assume it's alright to touch a child without the parent's permission. With pets, its more of a safety issue to our own children, but regardless, you should always have permission.</li>
<li><i><b><span style="color: #0b5394;">It's not polite to walk through other people's yards, regardless of how careful you walk, without the property owner's permission.</span></b></i> This is more about respect than just about damaging someone's property. Of course it's usually not damaging to someone's yard for someone to walk across it, but it's not polite to ever assume that the property owner doesn't mind.</li>
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It's polite when we keep our commitments. If your children commit to being home at a certain time, then that's the time they should arrive. If your child commits to cleaning his room, then a clean room should be had. <br />
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<b><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">Helping your children learn to keep their commitments is one of the first steps to helping them become trustworthy, dependable adults, and what a gift that is.</span></i></b><br />
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All the Best,<br />
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Monica IrvineThe Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7528881671093053691.post-63254337735061096532017-06-20T20:18:00.002-04:002020-02-12T12:57:29.850-05:00Restroom Etiquette<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s Time to Talk About It</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Typically, ladies and gentlemen do not draw attention to anything that is gross, unappealing or the least bit offensive. However, if we do not talk about this, I’m afraid the violation of this important etiquette rule will continue to cause distress to so many.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Here’s the etiquette rule: It is polite for all ladies and gentlemen to leave the restroom clean and tidy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Recently, I was traveling on an airplane and excused myself to the restroom. Upon opening the door, I was met with such a scene that I can only presume you can imagine the scene, after I express that I was not able to bring myself to enter the facility. The floor, the seat of the toilet was simply disgusting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">What is this? Why? How does it happen? I really do not want anyone to answer these questions, but what I hope is that you and I make sure that we teach our children that it is our responsibility and duty to show respect to those who come after us, and leave restrooms clean and sanitary. It really is all about respect. It’s about whether or not we value others and other’s experiences.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Parents, please teach your sons and your daughters to be careful in a restroom. And, if there is a mistake made, to clean it up. Let’s teach them to pay attention, and to not be distracted when visiting the restroom. Let’s explain why it is polite to be aware of how we use this facility with others in mind. It’s not too much to ask. Children are very capable of understanding and following this protocol. The real question is, are adults?</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Have a great month!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Monica Irvine</span></div>
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The Etiquette Factoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01850751786361673153noreply@blogger.com0