Hosting Dinner Parties

We're going to continue on the topic of being a great host with the focus on dinner parties.

Let me start by helping you relax.  You don't have to be Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart to host a dinner party.  You don't have to have fine china or sterling silver salt-n-pepper shakers.  Really!

What you do need to host a dinner party is motivation, some creativity (not much),

 and a desire to help your guests feel valued.

I always appreciate and notice when a host has taken the time to think through the evening.  A great host always knows how many people his/her home can comfortably handle.  He/she also knows her friends and family well enough to invite those who he/she thinks will enjoy each other and have a lot to talk about.

A host is always aware of ambiance.  

Sometimes you may need to rearrange furniture to help traffic flow.  Sometimes you need candles, fun lights, or extra decor.  Sometimes just finding the right music is all it takes to set the mood of the party.  A good host knows how to balance this.

A great host oftentimes will have a fun appetizer or hors d'oeuvres ready when the guests begin to arrive to make sure no one starves while waiting on dinner to be served.  It also can become a conversational piece.  

Having a variety of drinks ready once the guests arrive show that when a guest has something in their hand, they are more relaxed.

Whether serving a sit-down dinner or a buffet-style dinner, the trick to success at the table is simple but really tasty.  

A dinner party is usually not the time to try out a new recipe that you're unfamiliar with. 

New recipes have a way of surprising us, and usually a host doesn't like surprises.  Choose items you know you're great a preparing so your stress level is as low as possible.  Items you can prepare ahead of time and hold warmth, flavor, and texture for longer periods are usually ideal.  It's nice if the host doesn't have to spend the whole evening in the kitchen.

The host is always keenly aware of conversation throughout the party.  

He/she knows when the subject needs to be changed or when it's time to ask someone else a question so conversations are not hogged by only a few.  A great host takes a peek in the powder room throughout the evening to make sure things are order.

As you smile, greet, and speak to every guest individually, you're sure to have a successful evening. Regardless if the meat was cooked to perfection or the cake was moist enough, people want to feel valued, and they can see and feel that through the efforts that a host makes.

Don't be intimidated in hosting a dinner party.  Just have fun and be yourself!

Monica Irvine

Top 10 Mistakes in Dining Etiquette

It's been a while since we've talked dining etiquette, and this is definitely a subject that needs refining from time to time.  More and more I go to business luncheons and dinners and I am usually in awe of the lack of skills at the dinner table.

I'm not stating this to sound judgmental but to encourage all of  us to pay attention to our table manners, because others really do notice, and it sends a message of how much we value the dining experience of those around us.

Here are a few things to remember:

1.  Your napkin should remain on your lap until everyone is exiting the table.  If you must exit first or during the meal for any reason place your napkin on your chair, and then upon return, back on your lap.

2.  It's not polite to heap your plate full of food.  You should never have food stacked on top of each other.  You also don't want to fill your plate so full that you can't see the rim of the plate.  Think conservative, especially if you're at a business or professional luncheon or dinner.

3.  Never place your fingers in your mouth for any reason -- not to clean your fingers, not to remove food from your teeth, and not to get the last taste of sauce from your hands.

4.  It's polite to only cut one to two bites of food at a time, placing your utensils down in between every one to two bites.

5.  Never push your plate away after you're finished eating to signal that you're finished.  Simply place your utensils side by side at five o'clock with the handles of the utensils slightly off the plate.

6.  Never stack plates in order to help clean up the mess when at a restaurant or formal dinner.  Only do this when you're at home or when you have been asked to do so by the host.

7.  Never reach across anyone to get something at the table.  A simple "please pass the ..." is all you need to do.

8.  Do your best to keep conversation at the dinner table light, refraining from speaking of too serious of topics or topics that aren't appropriate, such as gross things vulgar things, sad things or political or religious debates.

9.  Always find ways to sincerely compliment the cook or host.

10.  Never announce any dislikes while at the table.  Simply say "no thank you" if you would not care for something.  Hopefully your host knows her manners and will never ask "why not?"

These are just a few common mistakes we tend to make while dining with others.  Having proper table manners is a great indication of our education level, our ability to show self control, and our sincere interest in the dining experience of those we're dining with.

Happy dining!

Monica

Dining Etiquette Review

Hello Friends.  It’s been a while since we’ve talked “dining etiquette” and this is definitely a subject that needs refining from time to time.  More and more I go to business luncheons and dinners and am usually in “awe” of the lack of skills at the dinner table.  I’m not stating to sound judgmental, but to encourage all of us to pay attention to our table manners because others really do notice and it sends a message of how much we value the dining experience of those around us.  Here are a few things to remember:

1. Our napkin remains in our laps until everyone is exiting the table.  If we must exit first or during the meal for any reason, our napkin goes in our chair and then upon our return, back to our lap.
2. It is not polite to heap our plates full of food.  We should never have food stacked on top of each other.  We also don’t want to fill our plates so full that we can’t see the rim of the plate.  Think conservative, especially if we are at a business or professional luncheon or dinner.
3. We should never never place our fingers in our mouth for any reason; not to clean our fingers, not to remove food from our teeth and not to get the last taste of sauce from our hands.  NEVER!!
4. It is polite to only cut one to two bites of food at a time, placing our utensils down in between every one to two bites.
5. We should never push our plates away from us after we are finished eating to signal that we are finished.  We simply place our utensils side by side at 5:00 with the handles of the utensils slightly off the plate.
6. We should never stack plates in order to help clean up the mess when at a restaurant or formal dinner.  Only do this when you’re at home or when you have been asked to do so by the host.
7. We never reach across anyone to get something at the table.  A simple, “please pass the ....” is all we need to do.
8. We do our best to keep conversation at the dinner table light, refraining from speaking of too serious of topics or topics that are not appropriate such as gross things, vulgar things, sad things, political or religious debates.
9. We always find ways to sincerely compliment the cook or host.
10. We NEVER NEVER NEVER announce any dislikes while at the table.  We simply say “No thank you” if we would not care for something.  Hopefully, your host knows her manners and will never ask “Why not?”

These are just a few common mistakes that we tend to make while dining with others.  There are many more skills to use at the table.  Having proper table manners is a great indication of our education level, our ability to show self control and our sincere interest in the dining experience of those we are dining with.  Happy dining!

Monica Irvine

a.k.a. Mary Manners

Taking the Last Bite, Should I?

Here's just a little lesson that's good to review with our children, before they find themselves faced with this situation.  I find that if I discuss with my children ahead of time (not in the moment), they are much more likely to listen and to ponder what has been said.


Proper Etiquette regarding taking the last piece or bite of something is simply; ask first.  Have you ever been “eyeing” the last piece of chocolate pie and wondering whether you should go for it or not.  Well, it’s OK if you do, but the polite thing is to ask if anyone else would like it, before you take it.  For instance, “If no one is going to eat this last piece of pie, I would love to have it,” or, “I would be willing to share.”  Most people, unless it’s your brother, are going to say, “No, you go ahead and enjoy it.”  People appreciate so much your willingness to ask before you take, that they usually allow you to have it, even though they might love it themselves.  This rule applies to everything, whether it’s the last piece of cake, the last piece of pizza, or the last piece of gum.  It’s amazing the payoffs that happen when we use proper etiquette.  Another consideration is asking for "seconds."  Remember, that when you’re in your own home, it is perfectly polite to ask if you may have "seconds."  However, when you are a guest in someone’s home, it is impolite to ask for "seconds"; wait until you’re offered "seconds," and then it’s perfectly OK. 


Now that my children understand this, are any of you willing to explain this to my husband?  Let me know if you have any suggestions for this problem.  I give up:)

Monica, a.k.a. Ms. Mary Manners

Manner's Checklist for Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

OK, so let's not stress.  We have grocery shopping to complete, a house to get clean, and children to turn into little angels before Thursday.  No worries.  We can do this.  Right?

OK, so maybe there's reason for a little stress.  I can't help you with the shopping or cleaning, so let me help with those little dev...I mean angels.  No, we can't completely transform a caterpillar into a butterfly in three days, but these helpful hints will surely get you started.  Let's review with our children the following to ensure a happy, joyful and as little embarrassment as possible at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table.

1. Take a gift to the host.  Whether it's your grandmother, your aunt, or a friend, whose home you are visiting for Thanksgiving, make sure everyone has a small token of appreciation in hand.  The children actually really enjoy this.  It can be a flower, a candle, a special treat or really anything.  It's a polite way to show our loved ones how much we appreciate them helping our holidays become special memories.
2. Make sure everyone is dressed appropriately.  Thanksgiving is special.  It's a meal that we usually bring out the best china and the linen napkins, and we ensure that the table looks beautiful.  To honor such a special occasion, the children should reflect the attitude of the day with appropriate dress.  I'm not saying they need to be in their church clothes, but definitely, "dressy casual."
3. It's not polite to ever announce that we don't like something at the dinner table, but it is especially rude when we are a guest in someone's home.  Let's remind our whole family that absolutely never, never announce our dislikes when we are a guest.  The polite way to handle turning down food that we do not care for is simply, "No thank you."
4. Find ways to compliment the host (cook).  It's really not easy to prepare a Thanksgiving meal with all the "fixins."  Let's give our children an assignment on Thanksgiving, that they have to "hand out" at least 5 sincere compliments on this special day (2 of them going towards the host).  This will be a great challenge that will be fun to discuss at the end of the day.
5. Finally,  send thank you cards.  This is a great occasion to allow our children to practice the art of sending thank you cards.  The day after Thanksgiving, have the whole family sit down and write a little note of appreciation to the host of Thanksgiving.  The host is probably in the bed, recuperating, and will surely appreciate the gesture.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We are so blessed to live in America!  I love our country, my family and especially my Savior.  May we all count our many blessings during this week of gratitude.
Sincerely,
Monica