Let's Not Break our Children's Spirit

Parents, we must stop speaking to our children behind clinched teeth, with angry eyes and cuttingly sharp voices.  

I have seen time and time again and it seems more often these days, parents speaking and handling their children with such contempt and hostility and impatience that it breaks my heart in two.  When we continue to interact and speak with our children without love, patience and sincerity, we are contributing to them growing up as angry, unhappy children who will bear the scares of emotional damage.

We may not think of ourselves as child abusers, but I assure you, if we are continuing to break our children’s spirit, we are indeed child abusers.  We have only a small amount of time, where we have the opportunity to be our children’s heroes.  When they are young, they are so impressionable and want so desperately to please us and to be loved and cherished as we all do.  

Children will react and exemplify the behavior they learn from their parents and care givers, every single time.

I worked in a preschool during college and while there I learned an invaluable lesson.  I had some children in my class who were aggressive, who were often angry and who struggled to have healthy relationships with other children.  In contrast, I had many children who were kind, gentle, happy and content with most situations.  As I met and got to know the parents of all the children, it soon became evident where the children learned their behaviors (please know that I am not speaking about children who suffer with real behavior issues, cognitive disabilities, social disabilities and the like).  What I witnessed was that the parents who were most often aggressively pulling on their children, impatiently removing or putting on coats, threatening to discipline once home, etc. were the ones who had the most aggressive children.

Then I noticed the parents who came in smiling, hugging, being gentle with their children both with their words and tone as well as physically were the parents with the most gentle children.  The softer the parents spoke and behaved, the more kind were the children.  

You may argue against this idea.  You may want to discuss all the variables that can lead to children’s behavior and personality and I know you would have many valuable points and truths.  I also know there are exceptions.  However, regardless of all of that, if we want gentle, kind children, they MUST see it and feel it from us. 

Please, let’s speak with kindness, handle with gentleness, and be much more patient with these beautiful souls entrusted to us. 

Have a great month,

Monica Irvine