Self Control...A True Etiquette Principle

Hello Friends.  I would like to discuss a skill that all gentlemen and ladies should strive to possess…that of self-control.  

Self-control is an attribute that requires one to consciously make an effort to be in control of one’s emotions, actions and speech.  

We all know people who have little self-control.  They are the ones who “blow their tops” rather quickly, get easily “rattled” and “put their foot in their mouth” very often.  I hope this isn’t us.

When we consider that we want to raise our children believing that they are not a victim to circumstances or helpless to physical appetites or pleasures, we might want to examine if we live our own life in a way that exemplifies this belief system.  

Here are some self-checks to consider:
  • Do we find ourselves often being blamed for other’s hurt feelings?  If so, we might need to ask someone we trust, love and admire to be honest with us by asking, “Am I rude?  Do I sound condescending or judgmental when I speak to others?  If you were to advice me on one thing that you thought would help me if I changed in my conversation with others, what would it be?”  Then, be courageous enough to hear and act and thank your friend who loves you.

  • Do we find ourselves angry at least once per day?  How about once per week?  Either of these amounts is a sure sign that we are struggling with understanding and controlling our emotions.  Studies show that people who get angry more often are more unhappy.  You might be saying, “Duh?”  However, here’s something to consider.  We choose to be angry.  No one forces you or I to ever become angry.  It’s a choice.  And when we choose it, we are choosing unhappiness.

  • Are we a slave to a bad habit?  Do we have to have an alcoholic drink each day to “calm our nerves” or relax us?  Do we have to have our coffee in the morning or we have no way of being responsible for our grouchiness, sleepiness or lack of focus.  I could go on but the simple truth is this.  If you need outside unhealthy habits to keep you going, you are allowing something other than yourself to be in control of you.

Choose to be an example that your children can look to in all things, even in self control.

Have a great month,

Monica Irvine


Anonymous said...

With regard to bullet point #1, there is a potential caveat here. In a dysfunctional family, there is often a scapegoat who gets blamed for all the family problems. The scapegoat may be accused to being rude and hurting other's feelings, when in reality it is the other people who are choosing to be hurt and are using this to abuse and manipulate the scapegoat so they can ignore their own sin.

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