For some reason, many of us believe that we have an obligation to set the record straight or correct others when we believe they are mistaken with their information, opinion or overall approach to things.
How many times have we all been guilty of saying something like, "That's not how you do it," Why are you doing it that way" or Well, that's not true," etc.?
The truth is, it's really rude when we correct others unless we are their actual parents.
Let me make a few clarifications. Standing up for what we believe is right or stopping a wrong from being committed towards another human being is, of course, expected of us all. This is very different than going around to our family and friends being the "accuracy police" on everything they do, say and believe.
I recently spent time with a few friends, and after some time went by and a few disagreements occurred, I realized that what was causing contention was the need for a couple of friends to point out every time they disagreed with what was being said. There is a time and place for making our opinions known, but during friendly, casual conversation is not one of those times.
Pointing out other's faults is the quickest way to becoming
the person everyone wants to avoid.
It's also not polite to point out everything your spouse does that you don't like or disagree with. This wears a marriage down and contributes to resentment and bitterness. Yes, there are occasions where it is necessary to express disappointment in certain behavior, but these times should be the exception not the norm.
What if, instead of pointing out all the things that those around you did wrong, you recognized them for the things they did right? (Of course this is only your opinion.)
Usually most people respond better to compliments
rather than complaints and negative comments.
If you really want to arrive to be gentlemen and ladies, then it is important to avoid being someone that others try to avoid. Pointing out others' faults is the quickest way to becoming the person everyone wants to avoid. Instead, compliment and praise. If you feel you really can't do this, then choose to not say anything at all.
Choosing to speak should be carefully evaluated with
thought going into what our purpose is, what you think the
outcome will be if you speak, and if it's worth it.
May we all strive to have relationships that bring great joy to us and others.
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