When To Send Thank You Notes

Etiquette In Conversation

Hello Friends,

Christmas and the Holidays sure put everything else on hold.  I love to put life aside for one month and focus on family, friends and the gift of Christmas.  On to etiquette.

With all the parties, celebrations and such through the holidays, I was reminded more than once on the need to understand etiquette while in conversation.  There are actually many etiquette rules to consider, but let's just focus on one today; "Balance in Conversation."  This seems to be one that many people find the most annoying, so let's make sure we understand it.

It is polite to simply takes turns when speaking to others.  I'm not saying to walk around with a stop watch in your pocket, announcing when someone's turn is up, but I am saying that we should be aware of how long we speak.  For instance, if we speak for about 5 minutes about our vacation we took last week, it's time to end our summary and ask the person we're with if they've been on any fun trips lately.

Let's make sure we aren't conversations "hoggers."  This makes others more likely to run when they see us coming, and hit "silent" when they see our number on their telephone.

Enjoy your conversations by taking turns.

Yours truly,
Mary Manners

Candy Cane Cookies

Yummy!  This is my fave of all times!  I love almond flavoring and peppermint and sugar all mixed together.  Don't let these scare you because they might look difficult.  They're really not.  Basically, it's a sugar cookie recipe with a little extra.  Then, you're making balls and rolling.  Pretty simple.  Here's the recipe.  These freeze really well, so you can make up to three months before Christmas. (The picture above is missing the sprinkles on top which are really important, see recipe below). 

Candy Cane Cookies

1 c. shortening (half butter)
1 c. sifted confectioners’ sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 tsp. almond extract
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 1/2 c. all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp. red food coloring
1/2 c. crushed (really fine) peppermint candy
1/2 c. granulated sugar

Directions
Heat oven to 375.  Mix shortening, sugar, egg and flavoring thoroughly.  Mix flour and salt: stir into shortening mixture.  Divide dough in half.  Blend food coloring into one half.  Refrigerate overnight before rolling out.  **Hint** Only take out a little dough at a time to work with because the dough is much easier to roll when it's cold.

Take 1 heavy tsp of dough and roll into ball.  Then, roll the ball into a 4 inch strip from each color.  Roll smooth, even strips.  Place them side by side and twist together like a rope.  Roll one cookie at a time so dough doesn’t dry out.  Shape into candy cane on cookie sheet.  Bake about 9 minutes.  Immediately after bringing out of oven, sprinkle with mixture of peppermint and sugar (1 to 1 ratio).

Dinner with Food Only

Hello Friends,
Here's another great activity that my family still begs to do again.  I'll tell you how we did it, but obviously, the sky is the limit with what you could serve and do.  I told my family that we were having a very special dinner, where we would practice our etiquette skills.  They hear this from me a lot, so really no big surprise.  I allowed them to watch me prepare in the kitchen; getting out the china, the linen, etc.  I did purchase a white plastic tablecloth and placed it on our dining room table, which my husband thought was a bit strange (plastic, really?).  When it was finally time to eat, I instructed everyone into the dining room to be seated.  The menu was:

• Spaghetti
• Salad
• Brownies and Ice Cream

I brought our first course out on my beautiful silver tray.  There were no plates, bowls, or silverware on the table.  I asked my dear husband, "Salad sir?"  He said, "Yes."  So, I then proceeded to  drop salad onto the table in front of him.  After a good pile was formed, I asked, "What type of dressing sir?"  Ranch was his reply.  So, I then poured ranch dressing on his salad.  I also dropped some bacon bits, croutons and nuts onto his beautiful salad.  The kids were dying.  After serving everyone their beautiful salad, I then instructed them to begin eating.  "With what?" was their reply.  "I don't know, but figure it out," was my reply.  We went on to eat spaghetti, and brownies and ice cream in the same manner; no plates, no silverware, no napkins.  It was a blast!  And believe it or not, my floor was clean after-wards.  That was one of the rules.  We laughed a lot and became very creative with the best technique to get the most amount of food into our mouths at a time.  Great etiquette skill.

Making memories.  That's what it's all about.  Cut loose and have some fun.
Monica Irvine, a.k.a. Mary Manners

Taking the Last Bite, Should I?

Here's just a little lesson that's good to review with our children, before they find themselves faced with this situation.  I find that if I discuss with my children ahead of time (not in the moment), they are much more likely to listen and to ponder what has been said.


Proper Etiquette regarding taking the last piece or bite of something is simply; ask first.  Have you ever been “eyeing” the last piece of chocolate pie and wondering whether you should go for it or not.  Well, it’s OK if you do, but the polite thing is to ask if anyone else would like it, before you take it.  For instance, “If no one is going to eat this last piece of pie, I would love to have it,” or, “I would be willing to share.”  Most people, unless it’s your brother, are going to say, “No, you go ahead and enjoy it.”  People appreciate so much your willingness to ask before you take, that they usually allow you to have it, even though they might love it themselves.  This rule applies to everything, whether it’s the last piece of cake, the last piece of pizza, or the last piece of gum.  It’s amazing the payoffs that happen when we use proper etiquette.  Another consideration is asking for "seconds."  Remember, that when you’re in your own home, it is perfectly polite to ask if you may have "seconds."  However, when you are a guest in someone’s home, it is impolite to ask for "seconds"; wait until you’re offered "seconds," and then it’s perfectly OK. 


Now that my children understand this, are any of you willing to explain this to my husband?  Let me know if you have any suggestions for this problem.  I give up:)

Monica, a.k.a. Ms. Mary Manners

Manner's Checklist for Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

OK, so let's not stress.  We have grocery shopping to complete, a house to get clean, and children to turn into little angels before Thursday.  No worries.  We can do this.  Right?

OK, so maybe there's reason for a little stress.  I can't help you with the shopping or cleaning, so let me help with those little dev...I mean angels.  No, we can't completely transform a caterpillar into a butterfly in three days, but these helpful hints will surely get you started.  Let's review with our children the following to ensure a happy, joyful and as little embarrassment as possible at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table.

1. Take a gift to the host.  Whether it's your grandmother, your aunt, or a friend, whose home you are visiting for Thanksgiving, make sure everyone has a small token of appreciation in hand.  The children actually really enjoy this.  It can be a flower, a candle, a special treat or really anything.  It's a polite way to show our loved ones how much we appreciate them helping our holidays become special memories.
2. Make sure everyone is dressed appropriately.  Thanksgiving is special.  It's a meal that we usually bring out the best china and the linen napkins, and we ensure that the table looks beautiful.  To honor such a special occasion, the children should reflect the attitude of the day with appropriate dress.  I'm not saying they need to be in their church clothes, but definitely, "dressy casual."
3. It's not polite to ever announce that we don't like something at the dinner table, but it is especially rude when we are a guest in someone's home.  Let's remind our whole family that absolutely never, never announce our dislikes when we are a guest.  The polite way to handle turning down food that we do not care for is simply, "No thank you."
4. Find ways to compliment the host (cook).  It's really not easy to prepare a Thanksgiving meal with all the "fixins."  Let's give our children an assignment on Thanksgiving, that they have to "hand out" at least 5 sincere compliments on this special day (2 of them going towards the host).  This will be a great challenge that will be fun to discuss at the end of the day.
5. Finally,  send thank you cards.  This is a great occasion to allow our children to practice the art of sending thank you cards.  The day after Thanksgiving, have the whole family sit down and write a little note of appreciation to the host of Thanksgiving.  The host is probably in the bed, recuperating, and will surely appreciate the gesture.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We are so blessed to live in America!  I love our country, my family and especially my Savior.  May we all count our many blessings during this week of gratitude.
Sincerely,
Monica

Tardiness is Never Polite

Here's the Etiquette Lesson for the week:  Tardiness is Never Polite.  

As most of us moms know, this is very hard.

It's not that we mean to be late constantly, but if you've ever had to pack up a baseball team just to run buy milk, you'd understand.

Getting to church on time, come on. Are they serious!!!  Having to make sure Joey isn't wearing his lawn mowing tennis shoes, Rachel is wearing underwear and I've put on deodorant takes time.  And usually, by the time we make sure everyone is "just so," someone has taken something off, spilled something on someone or even become lost themselves.  It is difficult.

However, with all that said, we must be aware of how our tardiness is perceived by others.

When we are late, it sends a message to the ones who have planned the activity that we simply don't care about their time, their schedule or the distraction that our tardiness causes to others.  

It says loud and clear, "Your time, effort and schedule are simply not of importance to me."  It's important that we do our best to be on time.  Sure, things are going to happen.  But, it doesn't need to become a habit.

Proper etiquette means we are always sensitive to others' time and effort, and we try to be respectful of both by showing up "on time."  

This lesson is definitely for me, too.